Peter holds out a hand. "You took the words out of my mouth. Edmund's been telling me all about you - high on enthusiasm, light on detail."

"We've only been dating two days! I don't have much detail!"

"James Orland, himbo in training, I bet you can infer a ton from my choice of this as my introduction."

"I can! But I knew most of it already. Shall we get going? My car's in the front lot."

"Sure, we can," he says, adjusting the strap on his backpack to follow him wherever. "And well, I'm afraid if you want more detail you'll have to ask. Not giving you your treats for free."

Peter hums thoughtfully. "Noted."

"Please stop evaluating whether James is an acceptable mate for me," Edmund says wearily. "It's entirely counterproductive."

"Not really an option," Peter says. "It's reflexive."

"Is it counterproductive?" wonders James. "I think I can pass muster so it'll give him some peace of mind."

"If he finds you acceptable, grand, he's decided he can trust my judgment, like he already should've. If he doesn't, well, that's too bad for him. Nothing is accomplished by him deciding he's the arbiter of who I date."

"Okay, but on the other hand if he does find something about me that's objectionable that you didn't, he can tell you about it. Rose-tinted glasses and all."

Huff. "My judgment is in no way impaired."

"I like him," Peter comments.

"Fuck off," Edmund groans.

James laughs. "Well, my judgement is kind of impaired, I think your dick is the best I've ever sucked even if that is very unlikely, objectively speaking."

"I dislike him," Peter reports. 

"Can it be the best in terms of second-order effects?" Edmund wonders, ignoring his brother completely.

They come to Peter's car, which has a girl leaning on it. "Brethren!" she says. "And presumably James! Hello."

"Hello! You must be Susan. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Yes, same here. You were the cause of baking, which I approve of, so you're in my good books so far."

"I see your family seems entirely on board with the project of tormenting you," he says, looking at Edmund over his shoulder.

"Well, yes. It brings them such joy, you see."

"I'm familiar with the impulse. My sister's the same."

"Deborah, right? That makes sense. She struck me as a woman of character."

Peter ushers them all into his car (a nice but unobtrusive silver vehicle) and starts driving.