"I didn't! I was very distracted by you."

"Awww."

"Gentlemen, I hate to interrupt," Mr. Dresden leans in and whispers, "but mister Murtagh's sexuality... and, ah, fuckability... is not the discussion topic."

The bastard must move like a snake.

James hits the bottom of his desk with his leg when he jumps at that. "I deserved that," he says, clutching his knee.

"S-sorry, Professor," Edmund says, rubbing James' knee gently. "Um, we'd already kind of discussed the topic - I think Lydia's the most relevant to the core moral of the story, since she's, you know, the moral victim - ending up with Wickham because she doesn't care, and all that. James thought it was Lizzie because she's the one who makes good, you know, she lets go of her first impression and lets herself love Darcy."

"I see. Well, in future I'd rather you continued discussing the book. Or homework from other classes, or the latest Steelers game, or, you know, anything else."

"But gossip about other students is a time-honored tradition!"

Mr. Dresden raises an eyebrow glacially. "That's true. On the other hand, so, in theory, is caning. Which we no longer practice, due to a specific application of the general principle of respect for others."

"Only if it's not consensual, but if your point is that rather than speculating I should ask, Mr. Dresden..." He looks over at jockstrap boy and calls, "Hey Matt! Wanna go out with me sometime? Like in a way that's gay."

     Matt snorts. "Man, I'd fuckin' love to, but Sylvia'd be pissed, I'm not gay, you're an asshole, I'm not gay, and fuck you."

Mr. Dresden shuts his eyes for a count of three. "Charming," he says aloud after opening them again. "Let's get back to the lecture, if everyone's done with their discussions?"

He makes his loping steps back to the board and starts going over the dynamics between the Bennet sisters some more.

"How am I an asshole!" he says under his breath, mostly to himself. "This is balderdash." And class is boring and useless.

Edmund shrugs sympathetically.

Class continues, boring and useless, until it ends. Edmund heads off towards his next class, which sadly is not James' next class.

That makes it definitely inferior to the previous class but he has other friends he needs to catch up with. And also figure out how this naked timeline affected them, Edmund said "surprisingly localized" but that doesn't mean nothing else changed.

They don't seem noticeably different in overall personality? Vivian, for instance, is still a cheerful force of chaos, just one who apparently has a pierced clitoris in this timeline. (Not that he'd know from the original. She's a lesbian.)

Oh man why doesn't he have a piercing oh right his mother would probably quite literally murder him. Anyway he loves Vivian she's great has she met Edmund? He's one of the new transfers and James has a crush on him.

She grins wickedly. "A crush, huh. I thought you just rampaged through the population having an endless string of hookups?"

"Me too! It's wild. But he's adorable and smart and well-spoken and has a British accent and his dick tastes great."

She gives him a look. "Okay, so when you say crush you mean you caught feelings. After seducing him in under twenty-four hours. The balance is restored."

"I dunno what the difference is," he says with a shrug.

"A crush is the part before you suck his dick. Feelings is the part after."

"Ohhh. Okay. Then that."

"The nice thing about feelings as opposed to a common-or-garden-variety crush, of course, is that you already know he's into you, so your only concern is whether he really likes you back or he's just getting off."

"I think I can do it!"

She squints. "...did he kiss you. Is that why you're so smug. If he kissed you I think you might just actually be dating."

"Well, yes, but I thought dating took longer than that? You have more experience than me here."