James calls Edmund "Friend of Dorothy" in his contacts list.

"See you tomorrow, gorgeous," he agrees. "At a less unreasonable time, even."

Quick, impulsive kiss.

James laughs after Edmund pulls back and says, "Let's try to get our courtship to last longer than a couple of hours, come on."

But he does lean down for a somewhat less quick kiss anyway.

Blush blush blush. "Okay. Um. See you - bye."

And Edmund makes his hasty exit. 

you're adorable

is James's first text, sent not five minutes after they leave school.

I'm an absolute dork, actually

those things can both be true!

Half an hour passes, punctuated by intermittent flirting.

???

Walked through the door and Peter was in the living room and he just kind of... looked at me... and then went into the kitchen

Is he b

He's running the stand mixer what is he doing

is there some context I'm missing?

Not that I'm aware???

I

Oh my God

Absolutely not I'll kill him

Absolutely fucking not

Brb killing

He does not text back for the rest of the day, regardless of prodding.

So the next morning at school (which starts actually a whole hour and a half later than it used to, not that he'll know this) he is greeted by very raised eyebrows.

Edmund arrives in homeroom, sees James, goes through a face journey, and finally sits next to him, blushing.

"Sorry for. Um. Not. Texting you back."

"Sure okay but now explain. Also before I forget, school used to start an hour and a half earlier, you're welcome."

"Really? That's insane. Teenagers should not be waking up that early, it's correlated with - with a ton of things, I think, there's been research -" He shakes his head. "Wow. Good thing we've got the book."

"Yes, now Edmund what happened."

"Virginity cupcakes."

"...come again? Wait no, let me figure this out, Peter took one look at you and guessed it and baked you cupcakes because of it."

"Yes. Yes, he did."

James drops his head onto his desk and starts cackling into his folded arms.

"Oh, thanks very much for your support. I'll remember this, you know."

He needs a few more seconds to regain his composure, then he grabs his phone and shows Edmund his contact entry. "I don't know how you are if and when you are trying to be subtle but this is what I had been calling you in my head from the moment I saw you yesterday morning."

"He knew I was gay, but I was hoping he wouldn't pick up on -" Edmund recalls his surroundings. "- specifics."

"I just mean you are not hard to read." He pockets his phone again.

"Fine, fine. Can we get back to the reality-warping magic, please."

"Really? You don't want me to talk about the other kinds of specifics I want to do to you?"