"If I get too ambitious it does the loading bars. If I go totally unrelated to the school it does inspirational quotes."

"...your third thing was the Ivies?"

"Look."

"This is how I know you're not just fucking with me."

"...did you do anything that worked?"

"Yeah. You know how school didn't start at eight this morning?"

"...it started at eight?"

"You're welcome!"

"Kids already get up at six to get on the bus!"

"It was exactly as terrible as it sounds."

"Thank you, gracious overlord."

"Also, the last time I saw you, you had, like. Three less piercings."

His hand goes up automatically to the line of helix piercings down his right ear.

"...how'd you do that?"

"Dress code!"

"They can't ban ear piercings anymore. There's, like, a religious freedom thing—"

"...I guess that didn't exist, either," he says, slowly.

"There's a -- did I make there be a religion??"

"I...think it was a tribe or something? Maybe they were just extra oppressed before."

"I'm not ready for this much great responsibility."

Neither is Z!!!!

"What did you even do? Was there, like, an idol or something? Magic lamp? Spooky artifact store?"

"No! I got my handbook like everyone else and I wrote in a dick joke and next thing I knew you were sucking dick in the bathroom!"

"...you're sure this is actually happening, right?" he says, weakly.

"I am willing to entertain the hypothesis that I am stark raving mad."

"...cool. Because I'm gonna go in with you on this as long as we both know it's maybe insane."

"You are the best friend anyone has ever had and I'm gonna cry like a girl in front of everyone."

He snorts and grabs him to hug him. There is a light noogie involved.