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"poor kamil like OH GOD ETHICS. ETHICS AND PROBLEMS. ALSO MY DICK. ETHICS AND PROBLEMS AND MY DICK"
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"If I get too ambitious it does the loading bars. If I go totally unrelated to the school it does inspirational quotes."

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"...your third thing was the Ivies?"

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"This is how I know you're not just fucking with me."

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"...did you do anything that worked?"

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"Yeah. You know how school didn't start at eight this morning?"

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"...it started at eight?"

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"You're welcome!"

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"Kids already get up at six to get on the bus!"

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"It was exactly as terrible as it sounds."

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"Thank you, gracious overlord."

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"Also, the last time I saw you, you had, like. Three less piercings."

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His hand goes up automatically to the line of helix piercings down his right ear.

"...how'd you do that?"

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"Dress code!"

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"They can't ban ear piercings anymore. There's, like, a religious freedom thing—"

 

"...I guess that didn't exist, either," he says, slowly.

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"There's a -- did I make there be a religion??"

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"I...think it was a tribe or something? Maybe they were just extra oppressed before."

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"I'm not ready for this much great responsibility."

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Neither is Z!!!!

"What did you even do? Was there, like, an idol or something? Magic lamp? Spooky artifact store?"

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"No! I got my handbook like everyone else and I wrote in a dick joke and next thing I knew you were sucking dick in the bathroom!"

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"...you're sure this is actually happening, right?" he says, weakly.

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"I am willing to entertain the hypothesis that I am stark raving mad."

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"...cool. Because I'm gonna go in with you on this as long as we both know it's maybe insane."

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"You are the best friend anyone has ever had and I'm gonna cry like a girl in front of everyone."

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He snorts and grabs him to hug him. There is a light noogie involved.

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