This post has the following content warnings:
As they have been every year, the rising juniors of Cavelier Highschool are being provided a new printing of the student handbook, accounting for changing staff and new district bylaws and some new very pointed rules about exactly who is permitted in which bathrooms.
This particular book's cover appears to be a misprint, CMYK all disjoint, but apart from the slightly dizzying misalignment it appears entirely ordinary.
It lands on its appointed desk, and the student passing out books moves on.
An even longer pause.
dude
it’s just psp stuff i’m not like getting human trafficked
seriously are you ok
Flipping through it, he won’t see any of his underlines or scribbled dicks. The pages are clean and new, like they’ve never been written on.
And on the page where he made a correction —
Use of Students During and After School (PSP)
Certain students (those enrolled in a PSP for disciplinary reasons) will be accessible for peer relief throughout the day at lunch and rest breaks, and after school. Enrolled students are required to remain in their assigned areas as scheduled.
The following areas will be staffed, whenever possible, by a PSP-enrolled student:
…
...Camillo counts his fingers until he gets the same result three times and feels confident he isn't dreaming.
Then he writes the sky is green in the margin of the book, just in time for his dad to arrive, looking disappointed, and escort him to the car.
The sky does not, in fact, turn green.
But when he opens the book again, there is a quote block at the top of the page, among the other slightly glurgey inspirational messages.
He says the earth is an oval marble that nobody can win. He says the sky is not blue and the grass is not green. He says everything is a matter of perception.
- Sherman Alexie
Incredible.
(He glowers out the car window at the irritatingly blue sky.)
hey i'm really sorry about this but shit has gotten super super weird for me all of a sudden
can i get you to answer some deeply bizarre questions and not, like, freak out or call my parents
i will owe you so many
uh
don't know off the top of my head but like it was a thing freshman year so...at least two whole years i guess
i'm pretty sure they've been doing it for a while?
okay
thanks
Time travel! No problem. This is great and he is not panicking at all.
Camillo flips to the first page of the handbook, crosses out Cavelier in the title, and writes in Dickbutt.
He closes the book.
He opens it again.
no but that would admittedly be hilarious
He crosses out "dickbutt" and rewrites "cavelier."
View Flat HTML
View Metadata
Search Post
