I will definitely explain when I am finished figuring it out

Back to the title page.

Under Cavelier High School, he writes, in his best handwriting, for immortal teens.

This time, when he opens the handbook again, there is a long horizontal bar underneath, containing “for immortal teens” in very pale grey.

Over the bar, in miniscule text, is written 

PENDING

and to its right, greyed out,

0%

God fucking dammit why does his phenomenal cosmic power have loading bars.

okay so like

i would love to tell you what's going on

but i have no idea and also you are literally not going to believe me

try me

i’ve seen movies

i don't have, like

evidence

gotta start somewhere right

pinky promise not to call the nice men in white coats

man i wouldn’t sell you out like that

if you have brain chips i support you

Here goes nothing.

i changed the name of our school to dickbutt

and then back

and you thought it was normal both times

ok one how did you change the name of our school

two lol

three i don’t remember literally any of that

yeah about that last

psp didn't exist yesterday

oops

what

on which note

one more weird science please

can you cross out cavelier on the first page of your student handbook

and write something else

literally anything

dickbutt is fine

ok done

Camillo checks his own copy.

Okay. Thank fuck. The entire junior class has not been endowed with phenomenal cosmic powers.

thanks

so uh

i guess yours is ... not magic

your handbook is magic

i am aware of how bullshit this sounds

yeah kinda

but awesome if true

brb parents

Camillo's parents, it transpires, are not impressed with his explanation for the fight. They are even less impressed when he isn't interested in writing a letter of apology to the other boy involved. Electronics are confiscated. Groundings are issued.

The next time Camillo sees Z is three days later, at school.

In the hall before class, Z looks extremely relieved to see him in person.

"Hey. Grounded for life?"

"Hypothetically grounded for a month. In practice my mom will probably change her mind in like a week. How are you ... doing?"

“Not bad. Really curious.”

"Can't blame you. Please tell me you can, like ... see this."

He flips his handbook open to the title page.

Cavelier High School

 

                                              pending                                                   
for immortal teens     ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 0%

 

                                                                                                  pending                                                    
in memory of Joe Cavelier, eradicator of malaria     ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 0%

 

                                                                                                                 pending                               
offering automatic admission to the Ivy Leagues since 1999     ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 1%

 

 

 

 

 

 

~~~ World peace begins with inner peace. ~~~

~~~ If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy.~~~

"...h...uh."