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Feb 03, 2023 9:38 AM
Dream SMP has a visit from a goddess
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<Yvette> ... okay, very thematic and narratively satisfying and whatnot, but don't you uh. Want to be better than him? Is food safe to give him, can I give him food?

"I don't think I can do more space without, uh. Warping reality in a way it probably shouldn't be warped. Food I can probably do. What are you being fed now?"
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“…Raw potatoes. Except when the machine breaks and then I don’t get anything until he notices and fixes it.”

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<awesamdude> You may give Dream any food that doesn’t have properties other than decreasing hunger. No golden apples, no milk, no honey, no pufferfish, no rotten flesh, no poisonous potatoes, no suspicious stew, nothing enchanted. No glow berries, nothing that can be planted in the cell.

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"Holy shit, what the fuck!"

<Yvette> All right, thank you.

And then, because she's seen both bread and steak before: she makes those! She tosses them to Dream!

"I will for the record absolutely take requests, I just actually don't know the foods available."
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Food!!!! Food that isn’t raw potatoes!!!!!

He is going to run into the corner to eat just in case she changes her mind and tries to take it away. Not that running into the corner would help. He eats two steaks as fast as he can and then cautiously approaches her again.

“…Golden apples?”

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"Nope, sorry, I got a short list of what not to give you that might affect chances of escape either way. There are regular apples though, right? Bet I can do those. If I can... figure out how."

She hums thoughtfully and tries to figure out how to... look up other items, or something. There should be a way, right? This place is extremely video gamey, and everything's had little codes attached to them. She makes some more steak and bread, and looks at them both to try and figure out the system behind them.

... nnnnope this is not something she can figure out quickly, is it. She'd have to back up and look at the world, probably, which sounds like it'll take a lot of brain space.

<Yvette> Okay, I am slightly handicapped in offering food choices by how I've seen, like, two food items since I've gotten here. Would someone like to show me their pantry, please? It's for more humane prison conditions!
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<ItsFundy> I have spider eyes

<ItsFundy> do you want spider eyes

<CaptainPuffy> wait, you guys have food? I assumed we all just stole from Eret

<Tubbo_> i also steal from eret

<Technoblade> wait, you guys don't have food? kind of an L

<BadBoyHalo> I have apple juice! OwO

<Quackity> bad are you drinking again

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"There are regular apples. What about carrots, can you do golden carrots?"

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"So, in theory yes, but in practice I haven't seen them and no one's being helpful in chat about showing me new food items," she sighs, irritated. "Unless you want to eat spider eyes, for some reason, I guess."

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"...No. What? No." (This seems to have surprised and confused him enough to decrease his Ambient Fear Levels.) "Steak is good, steak is fine."

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"I'm going to figure out better things," she assures him immediately. "But steak's easy for now. You can have as much as you like. Give me a bit, I'm going to try to figure it out on my own, I'll be a bit spacy and out of it while I'm doing it. ... Pun not intended."

<Yvette> The offer of spider eyes was not accepted, but thanks anyway.
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"That's fine. ...Can I have my clock? I used to have a clock but then Sam stopped replacing it. Or, I had a cat for a bit but then Tommy killed her? Sam didn’t so I don’t think—I think it was allowed—"

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"Holy shit, what the fuck! I'm sorry about your cat, um. Let me try and also figure out how to resurrect animals, how about."

<Yvette> Okay, several questions: can I replace his clock, and also his cat, via figuring out animal resurrection, because it was apparently killed, which leads me to my third question: wtf.
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<awesamdude> The clock will not help him to escape. I stopped replacing it because he kept destroying it.
<awesamdude> No animals are allowed in the prison.

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<Yvette> It does admittedly seem like kind of an unsafe environment for them, doesn't it.
<Yvette> Mind, I'm still resurrecting the cat, I'm just doing it outside and giving her a nice comfortable cat house. Of some kind.
<Yvette> Anyway, thanks, I'll replace the clock as soon as I figure out how.

"Can replace clock, once I figure out how, cannot bring the cat back in here, but I will be resurrecting her outside somewhere and make them some kind of comfortable cat living situation out of principle, do you have preferences about where?"
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"I don't care. It was just, it was interesting. It was Tommy's cat anyway."

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"Tommy killed his own cat to spite you???? What the fuck!" This isn't relevant to her current goals, is it. Okay, she could try and figure out the fundamental building blocks of this universe to figure out how to make things, or, she could just show up somewhere she's been before and ask to look at stuff. That sounds much faster and simpler. Phil and Techno like her for that whole 'healing Phil's wings' thing, and Techno implied in chat that he does in fact have food of his very own, that was not stolen from Eret.

Yvette2ElectricBoogaloo joined the game

<Yvette2ElectricBoogaloo> Hey, Phil and Techno, do you have food I can come stare at awkwardly like a weirdo, and also may I come and do that? I'll return it all once I'm done.
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Dream shrugs. "That's what he does, isn't it? Causes problems just to spite me."

<Ph1LzA> yeah sure

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"I feel like saying anyone is 'doing things just to spite me in particular' is reductive to the extreme. People are complicated. But yeah it's extremely fucked up to kill a cat to spite someone else."

<Yvette2ElectricBoogaloo> Thanks!

Elsewhere, Yvette2ElectricBoogaloo teleports to the little cozy winter cabin, and its truly insane number of animals. She... is going to turn off hearing these many, many animals make sounds for this part of her, while it's here. There's kind of a lot.

"Hello! Thank you for letting me stare at your objects like a weirdo! I can also provide witty sarcasm and truly insane amounts of worldbreaking bullshit while I'm here, just as a bonus," she calls brightly, from outside the door. She's too polite to literally just walk in.
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"Come on in!"

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In she goes!

"I might end up starting some kind of food bank situation," she muses, as she looks through chests to find food to stare at. "If everybody else really is just this bad at food."

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"They kinda suck at it, not gonna lie."

Techno mostly has golden apples, golden carrots, and steak, but there's also miscellaneous other food--he's got baked potatoes, cooked cod, cooked chicken, apples, carrots, bread, watermelon, cookies, suspicious stew, and a single raw pork chop; on the less food-like end of the spectrum he has spider eyes, pufferfish, rotten flesh, honey, sugar, and wheat.

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Some of these are even allowed to be given to Dream! Amazing!

"I definitely got that impression. But there was at least one food truck business out there, so I'd want to make a food bank at least a little bit inconvenient or obnoxious, so as not to squish local businesses with my bullshit superpowers. Just, you know, get people to stop apparently stealing from Eret. Probably bread, or maybe baked potatoes."

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"Wait, there's a food truck business?"

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"Yeah. Wilbur's and Ranboo's, I think? It's a burger stand. Two pieces of bread and a steak, which was very cute. And I think Quackity wants to start a restaurant of some kind?" Of course then there's the question of 'why would she help Quackity when he apparently tortured a guy,' but she has no proof and her only witness is Dream, who is not a trustworthy source of information. And even if he did torture a guy, he had vaguely understandable reasons about rescuing everyone from the afterlife, so she kind of gets it? Sort of? Even if it's still worthy of moral condemnation. "In Las Nevadas, both of them. Well, I suppose technically the truck is just outside of Las Nevadas, but it's really just right there."

Elsewhere, her other form tosses Dream some of: apples, carrots, watermelon, cooked chicken and cod, and then a bunch of cookies. It turns out to be pretty easy to tell which foods give extra, non-food benefits, once she gets the hang of it.

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