hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from heaven
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"Not her fault - she did not mean–" He is not going to have an easy time explaining this to his wife, is he. "Divine intervention. Nethys just - gave her - second-level cleric spells. I need to leave." 

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" - oh, that's much better than I thought." She'd thought maybe Nefreti was pregnant. "And not very surprising at all, he's a god of magic and she's a very gifted student of magic."

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"I mean. It is - good for her. I suppose. Proud of her. But. I need to not be here." 

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She looks utterly baffled at him for a second and then comes over and - with some finagling because she is eight months pregnant - sits so she can give him a back and neck rub. "Is there something wrong with the tea, I couldn't taste it because it's not recommended when you're expecting."

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He hasn't tasted it yet either. Probably he should, it's hardly going to fog his head any more at this point. He sips. "No, fine, thank you." 

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"You're feeling scared," she says, in the tone she uses for Saba having a nightmare. "I think you might be sick. Someone can come by from the temple and have a look at you and maybe do something better about the headache."

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...He is finally tracking his surroundings enough to realize that she doesn't believe him. It would be easiest by far to just let her try to take care of him, but - she doesn't understand what's going on, because he can't tell her, if nothing else the timing is awful and informing her that he's Aroden returned to life as a human will only make her doubt his sanity even more.

However, he really doesn't want to give any more gods, or agents of them, a reason to pay attention to him let alone poke at his head.

"No," he says; his voice is distant, hard, almost frightening. "Absolutely not. I am sorry - I will drink your tea and get some sleep, I promise, and we can talk about it again in the morning." 

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She looks incredibly skeptical but she does not argue. Sits around and massages his back and watches him drink the tea.

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He finishes it and looks at her. He's exhausted but he can mostly, at this point, see her again, it's not blotted out by the dizzying afterimages of thoughts he can't hold onto. He holds out his arms. "Can we - can you just hold me...?" 

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"Of course." Hug. 

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It's pretty hard to fall asleep, but he does, eventually, wrapped in his wife's arms. Drifts through confused too-bright dreams of trying to make commitments legible to other gods, except the concepts don't actually hold together, and everything is shifting.

In the morning, the headache is gone and he's fully lucid again. "I apologize for last night," he says to Parmida. "I should have - I am not sure, I should have done something different. However. There are many things I cannot tell you, for - reasons - and I do need to leave this city. Today." 

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"For where?"

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The only place where he knows off the top of his head that Nethys isn't worshipped much is Cheliax, which is - really not a healthy destination for his pregnant wife and their ten-year-old. "It does not matter especially. Maybe Thuvia." He's sure that he can find a city or smaller town without a temple to Nethys. "We can take most of our things. Start over properly. I suppose you could stay a while and pack, and I could find somewhere." 

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"What, start over until one of your magic students gets a cleric level? It's - one in a couple hundred, I think - less if it's Nethys specifically, but - what if Saba gets blessed by Irori, he's got the diligence -"

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"I would be far less alarmed if this could have occurred by chance! It would make sense if Saba were blessed by Irori." (he still wouldn't like it but he keeps that to himself). "This does not. She did not pray for her spells - she was not even a follower of Nethys, though I suppose he would care less about that than the others - she was just - given a vision, out of the blue. She must have gotten several levels all at once, she cast Greater Detect Magic but as divine magic. This does not feel like it could possibly be coincidence, and - that is why I am so disturbed." 

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"You think Nethys is out to get you?"

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"I did not place particular weight on Nethys before today! I simply do not like it when suspiciously unusual divine events happen near me! ...I am sorry that I cannot tell you why, it must be very baffling to you, but - there is something very, very important to me that I need to protect, here." 

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"And so you want to leave - the school, all these kids, all your plans, our lives to run away - you can't run away from a god, you know. In almost every house there's a shrine" - she glances at the one in their bedroom - "The gods are present wherever people who love them are."

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"They could be present by every shrine but they are not - even a god's mind is not big enough to give their attention to a thousandth of their shrines, and Irori has no reason to pay this one special mind. I was not at all worried about coexisting in a city that had a temple to Nethys, and his followers... I would not necessarily worry about doing so again, even. I am alarmed because what happened with Nefreti indicates very special attention being paid and I would like it not to be paid anywhere near me." 

He's not even sure that he's right to feel threatened, here; Nethys is the least goal-oriented of the gods, he wouldn't rank Nethys high as a candidate for betraying him - but he's not sure who he would actually rank higher, Iomedae also seems unlikely, and - he doesn't have any of the context anywhere, he had no time to consider the question while he was a god because they were busy killing him, and now his mind is a barred cage. And he can't afford even one mistake. 

Sigh. "I am not going to be able to explain this, am I. I apologize, but - I am going to make a decision that is baffling to you, here, and you can choose whether or not to come with me." 

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"You're never coming back?"

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"Probably not."

He rubs his eyes, suddenly tired in a way that has nothing to do with how much he slept. "I do not think you are in any danger if you stay a while to pack - or, I mean, you do not have to come with me at all. I would understand if you preferred - this..." Vague handwave at their big well-set-up house and its nice furnishings. He doesn't want to leave either. He was happy here. 

"I will go ahead," he says. "I should - leave a letter for her, she will not understand this, almost certainly... I will tell her it is not her fault and I am not angry with her, I just cannot stay." 

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"I can't keep the house without you," she says a bit sharply. "No one will pay tuition for magic lessons from a woman whose husband -" Swallow. "We wouldn't starve. I just - I just don't understand what's so important to you that you'd throw us all away, in one day, rather than take the slightest chance with it. And if I'm never going to see my family again I want to understand."

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"I mean, I would send money, of course. I am not just going to - to break all of my promises to you, you are my wife - you are carrying my child..." He reaches for her hands. "I am so, so sorry. I want you to come with me, we can start over - possibly not a magic school, the same thing might happen again, but a shop or something... I wish I could explain why. I really cannot." 

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She's crying. Her voice is quite steady, though. "Why not."

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"Because you would not understand. Because you would not believe me. Because there is not, actually, a sequence of words I could say that would...help..." His eyes are cold and faraway and millennia too old for his face. 

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