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Nov 17, 2019 2:56 AM
change the way the story's told
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"You were supposed to choose something that reflects who you are as a person!"

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"...why would you bring something that reflects who you are as a person to a desert island if you could bring food or water or a boat." 

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"Carlos and Claudine understood the exercise. --Well, I guess you have food and a boat, so we know how you escape the deserted island without having to discuss it, so we might as well move on to the next portion. Does anyone have any questions about Auradon?"

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Asking questions is curiosity and curiosity is a sin.

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Carlos always has questions, and he has also learned that ever asking a question gets your ass beat.

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Asking questions always gets the answer 'you should stay in the tower where I put you.' She doesn't do it. 

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"Is it true that you aren't supposed to have blue hair or was the person at the orientation making things up?" 

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"People should only have hair colors that are natural hair colors for people of their ethnicity. That's why I dye my hair brown!"

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Mackenzie touches the colorful half of her hair self-consciously. 

"But it just... grows this way." 

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"And Evie's hair is naturally blue, and so is Nico's." 

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"You probably have some distant nonhuman ancestry that causes your hair not to be a normal color!"

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"I guess," and her voice is very very small. 

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Fairy Godmother doesn't stop smiling. "Does anybody else have any questions?"

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If she had any questions before she isn't going to ask them now. 

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She looks around expectantly for a while and then says, "I guess we can end early! I'll be around for the next hour and a half in case you have any questions you want to ask me privately. Please read the first fifteen pages of your textbook for next week."

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Yeah, he's not gonna stick around. 

He totally intends to read the first fifteen pages of the Remedial Goodness textbook, it is for sure a thing he's going to do, succeeding at these classes is important, and then he gets caught up in the fiction he was reading and does not read the first fifteen pages of the Remedial Goodness textbook. 

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The next time Charlotte takes him shopping, she gives him a hundred dollars and tells him to go wander around the shops looking for something interesting, she has to purchase feminine articles of an intimate nature. 

There's a bookstore. 

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First of all, what the fuck is a feminine article of an intimate nature, and second of all why are Auradonians incapable of just saying underwear if that's what they mean. 

He goes into the bookstore, because where else would he go. 

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The bookstore has a really nice fiction section, and a lot of nonfiction, and also a cordoned-off section with a sign that says "18 And Over Only" and a button to press to get a clerk to check your ID.

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...there's nobody looking. He can totally just step over the rope and take a look, who's going to stop him? 

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The 18-and-over section has three subsections, cryptically labeled "M/M," "M/F," and "F/F", and each section appears further subdivided into "Fiction," "Nonfiction," and "Magazines."

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...weird.

He tries the F/F magazines first. 

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The F/F magazines proclaim themselves to be fitness magazines! There is about half a page of fitness routine, a statement that these women are supposed to inspire you to become fit and follow the fitness routine, and forty pages of extremely skinny large-breasted naked women. Occasionally one of the women is near some gym equipment or doing something that a charitable observer could call a bridge, even though bridges are more normally depicted without the closeup of the vulva.

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.............weird. 

Okay, then, what is M/M. 

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The M/M magazines also proclaim themselves to be fitness magazines! The extremely muscular naked men that make up 90% of this magazine are perhaps more likely to inspire you to do the weightlifting routines that make up the other 10% than are the skinny large-breasted women in the other section. It is unclear why all the men are smiling at you and making sex eyes. Probably it makes it more inspirational.

One of the magazines declares itself to be a Body Positive Fitness Magazine. It consists of a similar number of naked men, except instead of being muscular they're all chubby. 

Another magazine somewhat implausibly declares itself to be a fitness magazine, given that the men involved are so thin they probably haven't lifted anything heavy in their entire lives.

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