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Dec 08, 2019 12:09 AM
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An excellent plan. 

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Kaleva mumbled the thing into a pillow and now he doesn't have to say it ever again. This is how flirting works.

He's bright red and all his muscles are tense.

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He is just going to... be cuddlier. That is how you solve this problem. Yes. 

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Asher cuddles Sasha, conspicuously does not cuddle Kaleva.

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Crap.

"Youcanpetmyhairifyouwantto."

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"That means 'please pet my hair,' Sasha says helpfully. "You should. It's very pettable. Kaleva is very pettable." 

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Asher reaches over and tangles his fingers in Lev's hair.

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Lev makes a little whimpering noise and pushes his head more firmly into the pillow.

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"We should probably talk about all this in an hour or two when you have slightly less rum in your system."

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"...what?" 

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"...Uh, you had a cocktail, and it's probably not that bad because you just had one, but you're pretty small and you don't drink that much? I wouldn't drive right now if I were you."

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"— that couldn't have had alcohol in it, though, you can tell, it didn't taste like I was throwing up in my mouth and it didn't have the bread bits and I am pretty reliably informed that you need those —" 

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"Rum is made from sugar cane and I don't think I've ever had booze with bread bits in it. --Shit, I'm sorry."

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"— I mean, fruit is fine but the alcohol you make with it is the grossest thing I have ever tasted and I say this as an islander who got poisoned as a kid — why are you sorry —" 

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"Okay, so what I thought was going on is that you wanted me to fuck you but you needed to have a drink first because then you could be like 'oh, that wasn't me, it was the alcohol, I'm sweet and innocent and would never fuck a stranger.'"

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"Auradonians are fucking weird and I still don't know why you're sorry." 

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"You shouldn't give people alcohol if they don't know they're drinking it, because it might make them make bad choices they didn't sign up for. --Such as letting me figure out you're a dude, sorry, I kinda fucked up."

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He probably should have a thing to say that is not "It worked out fine," but in fact that is the thing that he has so it will just have to work. 

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"...We are really going to have to add 'alcohol tastes good in Auradon' to the orientation list."

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"Yeah. That and 'sometimes people offer you things they don't mean just to be nice and then get mad when you say yes' and 'here is a list of things you will get yelled at if you ask questions about' and 'here is a list of things that if you want to talk about you have to use different words even though everyone knows what you mean' and Charlotte said something about it being easier to get pregnant here, that should go on it too." 

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"It's easier to get pregnant here than on the Isle?!"

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"— I think so? Obviously I wouldn't know, like, personally or anything, but Charlotte was really surprised nobody my age had gotten pregnant and she knew about maybe a tenth of the sex people were having —" 

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"--We got girls from the Isle."

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"If Claudine is pregnant you've got bigger problems than what was in the orientation — I don't know Mackenzie very well — but I've heard girls here bleed every month and that's a thing people should know probably —" 

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