"Oh, no, it's fine, it's just. --I wrote it."

"...oh." 

He unshrinks and sits down on the bed. 

"I keep meaning to read it, I just — keep winding up not. And the classes are, well." 

Kaleva holds him. "--I mean, I did the whole curriculum, but the other classes I could mostly copy from adult educational programs in the ex-medieval countries-- did you know Fairy Godmother wanted to put you all in high school level courses, I had to yell at her about that-- sorry about the classes, I tried to make the textbook less stupid--"

"I did not know that but am unsurprised given everything about the entire way that she is — you did a really good job on the textbooks I've read, anyway, and lit class is great." 

He bounces. "Thank you! --What level are you?"

"Elementary math and science, middle-grade social studies, and I'm not actually sure about lit, the book doesn't say what level it's for." 

"Oh, that's high school, and I didn't pick it, that was Cinderella's choice in order to get her on board. Glad she has good taste though." He kisses Sasha.

"I'm not sure how I feel about her taste, but I like the class because it's the one where I'm allowed to have lots of opinions." 

"You're supposed to be allowed to have opinions in all of them." They should be lying down and Sasha should be on top of him.

Both of those things are very true. 

"Yeah, but in math and science opinions are just harder to have. Social studies is good for that too but there's a limit to how much I can substitute 'opinionated' for 'good at doing homework'" in social studies." 

His hands should be under Sasha's shirt. 

"I knew I should have pushed me teaching them-- but I guess if I did I'd be your teacher and then it would be unethical for me to kiss you, so. It all worked out okay."

Mm. Kissing. A thing he is allowed to do.

"I'm very glad you get to kiss me, anyway." They should be kissing more. 

What an excellent plan. 

"So you're from the Isle."

"I am. — I, uh, maybe understated some things." 

"It's fine. You didn't know I wouldn't freak out."

"Mmm." They should be closer together, and also Kaleva should not be wearing a shirt. "Auradon is so weird." 

"How so?"

"Basically every way I can imagine? People here offer things and then get mad if you say yes, that was a big one — everyone stomps everywhere but nobody really seems to take up space, people don't even try to dress distinctively, apparently you arent supposed to have colorful hair which has gotta suck for Mackenzie, skirts are only for girls here, there are lots of things nobody is supposed to talk about unless you put it in different words even though literally everyone knows what you mean, everyone is sort of bizarrely focused on marriage but I was kind of expecting that —" 

Kaleva hugs him.

"That sounds really hard."

Sasha curls into Kaleva. "Thank you. — honestly the hardest part is not having people, most of the weird things are weird but not bad in themselves." 

"You should talk to--"

He pauses and feels like throwing up.

Sasha hugs him tighter. "Are you okay?" 

"Sorry, I just-- I was going to say you should talk to"-- the words feel stuck in his throat-- "my former friend Chen. He's from China, it's not as weird as the Isle but it's pretty strange compared to the rest of Auradon. But he doesn't want to talk to me anymore."

"I'm sorry." 

He doesn't let go.