"--Uh, well, most recently I was thinking about mice. So adults are more mature than teenagers, right? But is that because teenagers' brains aren't developed yet, or because we simply don't have that much experience? And in theory you could study adult mice versus humans of the same age and figure it out. But that might not work because mice experience subjective time at a different rate than humans do."

"Or you could find places where teenagers are self sufficient earlier, and compare teenagers from those places to teenagers in Auradon City, which presumably wouldn't have the subjective time issue." 

"How would that help?"

"If they aren't staying with their parents as long then they would have more experience dealing with practical situations like feeding themselves earlier? Unless by experience you literally just mean 'amount of time spent in the world,' in which case it wouldn't." 

"Ooh, that's a good point. There's sheer number of experiences but there's also quality of experiences." He bounces. "Someone should do a study on that one right away, a lot of the medieval countries are developing."

Saying 'or there's the Isle' would mark him as a villain kid immediately. He doesn't do that. "Yeah. Shame I don't know anyone." 

Kaleva puts that away in his file of Sasha Facts alongside the fact that he didn't eat fruit. Maybe he's Arendellian?

"It's really terrible that we can't talk to sapient animals, you could do so much comparative psychology to try to figure out what is the way it is because we're human and what is the way it is because we're sapient."

"I've heard rumors that some of them can write, but the internet is, uh." 

Bounce bounce. "They totally can but there's a selection bias-- do you know what selection bias is--"

"Not really but it sounds like the thing where if you ask a bunch of people a question you only get the answers of the ones who feel like answering?" 

"Yeah! Well, in this case, most mice don't learn to write, so the ones that do are really weird-- they're richer, they're smarter, they tend to be more interested in humans-- and all of that could affect your data."

He's just sort of continuously bouncing.

"That makes sense — maybe if you could talk a mouse who could write into running the study? But they'd only get the humans who were interested in talking to a mouse —" 

Flop. "Coauthors are a thing! --You're so good. You should kiss me."

Sasha has been called a lot of things, but 'good' is very seldom one of them. He kisses Kaleva. 

Oooooh, naked Sasha. Naked kisses. He is thoroughly distracted.

He's pretty thoroughly distracted too. 

He bites Sasha's shoulder and says, "it's so good, I didn't know it would be so good."

He would respond to that in words, but you see, Lev is biting his shoulder. 

Lev kisses the place he bit and says, "I never masturbated-- I don't know if sodomites usually do but I don't-- so this is all so new--"

"— wait, what?" 

"Well, I didn't know it was a thing until I did some research," Kaleva says, and kisses Sasha, "and then the research said it caused weakness of the brain, which I definitely don't want--"

Fucking Auradonians. He kisses Kaleva. 

"It does not do that and also I'm confused about why you needed research." 

"How do you know it doesn't? --Well, it wouldn't have occurred to me to touch my genitals, that's gross."

"— well, the first answer is 'because that would be fucking stupid,' but I can try for a real one — and why would that be gross?" 

"It's just kind of a gross body part."