Asher's choices are great and he has no idea what Tony is making that face about.

He puts Tanya down.

"Okay. Sure," he says. "Hi. If I'm your dad where'd you get that arc reactor, I'm pretty sure they're not heritable."

"I think there are some fucking weird causality things going on, because in my universe Afghanistan happened to me and I'm the one that made Jarvis." 

"That... that sure does sound like some fucking weird causality things, yep," he says. "Uh. I... want to find a non-awkward way to ask how bad a father I am but I don't think there is one so I'm just gonna come out and say it."

"You were great. You never yelled at me or lectured me and always listened to my side of the story. You made me feel-- not just loved, but respected and accepted and liked. You fucked up like six times that I can remember and you always apologized and tried to do better. I don't have any complaints, except for dying in a car crash when I was seventeen, and also all the child murder."

Okay he is starting to tear up a little by the end of this recitation and then "wait, what?"

"It would have been better if you had not devoted your entire career to figuring out ways to help the US military murder children more efficiently and with bigger explosions. I would have significantly less complicated feelings." 

"Yeah, I'm with you on that one."

...he looks down at his chest, and then up at Asher. "Oh. Oh. Wow. I—had not fully processed the implications of this whole thing happening a generation later—I, he, your dad never figured it out? Fuck."

"...I really hope I didn't somehow stop him from figuring it out. Like, he was at home playing with me instead of in Afghanistan making stupid PR videos about explosions--"

"—I mean, even so, the only reason the stupid PR video about explosions helped anything was that that's the moment Obie picked to try to have me assassinated, which is something neither you nor your dad have any control over—and it is super weird that he waited that long in your world—was it even him?"

"In my world it was random unrelated terrorists."

"Same here, they were holding me for ransom."

"They wanted me to build them their own missiles to blow things up with."

"...I mean, yes, in my world it also looked that way at first, but then Sherry found out that he'd hired them to kill me and they'd kidnapped me instead—"

"...who's Sherry?"

"...uh, my clone? Did... none of you guys...?"

"The only clone in my house is the seven-year-old Hitler clone I'm helping to raise for reasons that I assure you made sense at the time."

"All of my alts are insane."

"Well this is super embarrassing."

"I dunno, I think clones are cool."

"I made him when I was sad and lonely and twelve, I was—sad and lonely and twelve and not equipped to handle anything about the situation like at all, he was mostly raised by Jarvis who I made when I was sad and lonely and eleven and then two years later he caught up and quit the accelerated growth thing and suddenly I had a twin. He named himself Sherlock Holmes out of a book. Because I forgot to name him. He's a badass and I love him but I fucked up just about everything about that situation that it is possible to fuck up and—I'm actually really glad that none of you guys made this particular terrible mistake but it is still embarrassing to be the only one."

"I started dating a fifteen-year-old when I was 22, discovered he was fifteen, stopped dating him but sure did a lot of dating-adjacent things for someone who was not technically dating him, got mind-controlled, and murdered him. Then he came back to life and I had a nervous breakdown and did a bunch of drugs and had a bunch of really ill-advised sex and completely ignored everybody I loved. And then I kissed him. --He was sixteen by the time we got around to kissing, it took a while."

"I'm not allowed to attend the Nobel Prize ceremonies anymore because I blew six princes in the bathroom."

...his instinct here is to hug Asher but that seems like it would be super weird on like a dozen different levels but like oh no.

Despite himself, he looks at Tanya to see if there are any reassuringly terrible stories forthcoming from that corner.