"Tanya!" she says, with a hint of that earlier anxious tone again. "Also Stark!"

"Tony Stark is my dad."

"Uh, hi! I'm Toni."

Is this incest? Toni is pretty sure that perving on your alternate universe son is incest.

Asher backflips up to standing.

Toni has fewer moral objections to incest than previously believed.

"...there's a boy one...? How does that even...? Is he okay?? Toni seems okay but I would seem okay too if this bar hadn't SURPRISED ME in the middle of my HOUSE, it's not super indicative."

"He's not-- he died. When I was seventeen."

"Fuck. I'm sorry."

Why do men keep having feelings at her? Toni is so bad at dealing with men having feelings. She is pretty sure it is misogynist. It is making her do emotional labor or something.

"I-- I really want to talk to you guys. Because you're my dad. Except girls? I didn't know my dad came in girls."

"I am down for that. I apologize in advance for being a huge mess."

"I know. My dad was a mess before he had me."

"Checks out," Toni says, "I've had two abortions and no babies and I can't be trusted to take care of a houseplant."

She opens her mouth.

She closes her mouth.

In its flailing attempts to find something to talk about that isn't what Toni just said, her mind lands on the screamingly obvious thing that she should have noticed and processed and drawn conscious conclusions from the instant he entered the room. And probably would have if it wasn't in the middle of his extremely distracting chest which she has been forcing herself not to stare at since he got here.

"Hang on," she says, "you have an arc reactor."

"Yeah! It's really nifty. I'd explain the physics but I think our universe's physics is particularly bullshit."

Rather than try to articulate the thing that is wrong here out loud using words of some kind, she reaches under her shirt and pulls out a wad of electrical tape.

Now her chest is glowing.

"I think... something weirder than just us being Alternate Universe Your Dads is going on here."

What the fuck.

Toni takes off her jacket. 

There's a blue glow from between her breasts. (They're very nice breasts. Asher should look at them.)

Asher does not look at Toni's breasts.

"Are you guys... Iron Women?"

"I'm Iron Maiden."

"'Iron Man' stuck before anyone knew who I was. It's kind of awkward."

"Afghanistan, kidnapped by terrorists, watched a bunch of kids get killed by Stark Industries tech, decided to quit making weapons?"

"Matches."

"Yyyyyes all of those are things that have happened in my life—um—I feel like we should be doing some kind of timeline rundown to see where the divergences are—" is she going to have to talk about her childhood, fuck, she hates talking about her childhood.

"Build an AI named Jarvis? Flew a nuclear bomb into an alien portal to save New York? Mind-controlled into murdering your boyfriend, who is fifteen and also Spider-man, but then he got better?"