"Perhaps we should set aside this issue for another session. Would you like to learn more about the effects of undereating on your body?"

"Sure." 

They do!

His homework is to keep a record of what he eats.

SHe agrees to do it. 

It's not so bad. Sasha can just agree to be called Alyosha next time, it's not hers his but at least it isn't Alexander and it'll look like she's reconsidered being so stubborn. (SHe's already giving up being called by her his name, by the right words, she's already giving up so much, and it isn't rigid to ask people to use your fucking name — this isn't productive.) 

Sasha sneaks off to the bathroom that night, because fuck, why not. 

Lev's head is tossed back and his hand is between his legs and he's making soft whimpery moaning noises. 

(--tied up and blindfolded so you can't even know who's using you and you couldn't stop them even if you wanted to, not that he wants to-- he's lost count of how many cocks have been in his mouth and his ass and his hands--)

— he shouldn't — it's not a good idea, it's — 

— he closes the door behind him. It clicks. 

He looks up. 

He shouldn't. He really really shouldn't. But all he can think about was how good Raine's mouth would feel.

He looks at Lev and doesn't say anything. Takes a step closer. 

Lev drops to his knees and his hands are undoing Raine's pants.

"Raine, you're so beautiful."

He shouldn't —

— but Lev uses her name, and that's — that's so, so good, it took four words for her to feel okay again and that's — she doesn't want to let go of that. She leans back against the wall and puts her wrist between her teeth to keep herself quiet. 

All he can think about is the feeling of Raine's dick in his mouth, the softness of the skin and the way it slides, the way Raine smells. It drives away the self-hatred and the fear and the misery. He isn't thinking about being used or about sex with strangers. He feels loved.

He pulls off and rests his cheek against Raine's thigh and says, "I love your dick-- uh, sorry, do you want me to use a different word for it, because you're kind of a girl--"

Oh he's perfect. 

"Dick is fine," she whispers, "cock is fine, clit is fine — thank you —" 

Raine's gratitude sends a shiver through his entire body.

He returns to sucking on her-- clit?-- and pretty soon he's not thinking about much of anything at all except how he feels warm and safe and okay and loved.

She bites down on her wrist and puts her other hand in Lev's hair and lets her hips roll forward into Lev's mouth — it's so good, he's so good, his mouth is so warm and so soft and he calls her by her name and he cares about what words she wants and — right now it feels like maybe everything will be okay, like maybe she's okay, like maybe she isn't alone here — 

He's not alone, someone likes him, he makes Raine happy and that's the best thing he can imagine-- it feels like his entire world has been reduced to his mouth and lips and tongue and throat and to Raine's clit--

She's not alone she's not alone there's someone here who cares about her someone who wants her to be okay even if she has nothing else she has Lev — she swallows down the sounds she wants to make but sometimes a tiny broken noise slips through — 

When she makes a noise his hand goes back between his legs. He's trying his best not to make noises but his breathing is heavy and he hisses.

Oh god oh god oh god he's so good — she bites down harder on her wrist, tightens her fingers in Lev's hair —

You can't talk with someone's genitals in your mouth. It's a problem.

He tries to convey anyway that she's beautiful and she makes him so happy and he loves her--

— and she squeezes her eyes closed and tilts her head back and bites hard on her arm when she comes. 

He kisses up her thighs and her hips-- she's still wearing a shirt but he can stand up the rest of the way and hug her close and kiss her.

She kisses him and sits down on the floor with him and hugs him tight, rests her forehead against his and interlaces their fingers. 

"Can you finish me off--"

She wraps a hand around his cock and kisses him again, slower this time, keeps her other arm around his shoulders.