This post has the following content warnings:
« Previous Post
+ Show First Post
Total: 1461
Posts Per Page:
Permalink

He very specifically does not comment that it's striking how Raine's conversion therapist responded to her rape with more charity and compassion than her boyfriend did. 

"I'm not trying to claim that sex with Harry was a good choice. But she was desperate and trapped and self-harming, and when she tried to express this to you, you got mad at her for it." 

Permalink

"I don't-- I want her to be happy and safe and okay, that is the most important thing in the world to me, and I don't know what to do." He sighs. "Other than punch Harry in the face for hurting Raine, which would be very satisfying but wouldn't actually help."

Permalink

"You could start by apologizing for taking the fact that you were worried out on her," he says, instead of any of the other ten things that come to mind as responses. 

Permalink

"I don't know what I did wrong and I'm scared I'm going to do it again."

Permalink

"...can you tell me what happened in that conversation as far as you're aware?" 

Permalink

"Uh. I told her I knew she wouldn't have slept with him if she'd known what he was like, and she said she did know what he was like, and then I was like 'well why did you sleep with him then' because-- I don't understand why you would do that-- and she was like 'because I was at ex-gay camp and no one let me make any decisions' and I was like 'well, I don't care what you wear or what you call yourself or how much you eat but please don't make decisions that make you this fucked up even though I can't, like, stop you' and then she was really sad and I hugged her but she didn't want to see me or talk to me. --She didn't tell me she was raped."

Permalink

Where does he even start. 

"...she thought she could handle it. And when she turned out to be wrong — the thing she'd been trying to get out of it was being in control of something, and sometimes blaming yourself for making a bad choice is easier than accepting that you didn't have control at all." 

Permalink

"That doesn't make any sense."

Permalink

"What doesn't make sense about it?" 

Permalink

"...why would you think something was your fault if it wasn't."

Permalink

"Because if it's not your fault and there wasn't anything you could have done differently then a terrible thing just happened and there's no way to avoid it, which is terrifying. Because if you decided to keep going through something that was hurting you and it fucked you up then you're fucking yourself up and you don't have to deal with feeling powerless, and if you would have stopped it if you could then you have to face the fact that you couldn't." 

Permalink

"I-- I don't think about things in that way. It doesn't make sense to me."

(He looks upset and confused.)

Permalink

"Then probably a lot of things people do won't make sense. 

Raine's in the library. She doesn't not want to talk to you, she just needed some space to figure herself out." 

Permalink

"I don't want to hurt her."

Permalink

"Then go talk to her." 

Permalink

"Okay."

He goes to the library to find Raine.

Permalink

She's curled up in one of the chairs. She's not reading; her eyes are closed; she's not asleep. 

Permalink

He sits on the ground next to her chair, close enough that she can touch him if she wants to. "Hey."

Permalink

...she opens her eyes. 

"Hey." 

Permalink

"I'm sorry. I clearly don't have any idea what I'm doing."

Permalink

"I'm not mad at you." 

Permalink

"I'm still sorry."

Permalink

"I know. 

I'd rather you ask than not, when you don't get something. I can't always answer but I'd always rather know you have the question." 

Permalink

"I'll ask. --I want to punch Harry."

Permalink

"He's not worth you going back into that camp for." 

Total: 1461
Posts Per Page: