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Mar 22, 2019 6:47 PM
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"Yeah," Marlo says, softly, and adjusts the way he's holding her, cards absentmindedly through her hair. "I get it." 

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She's spent a lot of time with her head on Marlo's shoulder and his fingers in her hair, these last few weeks. It's — nice. Familiar. 

"And — he wasn't. Wrong? It was a stupid choice I shouldn't have made, I should have figured out something else to do that wouldn't fuck me up so bad, I just —" 

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"...Raine, it is not your fault that you got raped." 

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A distressed sound. 

"It wasn't — I didn't say no, ever, and I —" 

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He holds her closer.

"Would you have? If you'd been able to breathe, if you had thought he would stop?" 

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That same tight too-quick nod. 

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"We have a word for sex you don't want to be having but can't end. That word is not bad decision. That word is rape." 

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She nods again and then all at once goes limp. 

"...yeah," she says, quiet. "Yeah." 

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And he keeps petting her hair, keeps cradling her, keeps being there. 

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He did something wrong, he hurt Raine, he doesn't know what he did wrong, he has to fix it but he doesn't know how--

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Lev wakes up, shakes his head, and immediately dives back into the Research Pit.

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"I'm going to get food, do you want some?" he says to Raine. 

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She actually pauses to think about it before she says "I'm not hungry but maybe in a few hours?" 

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"Alright," and he puts her down and goes out to the kitchen. 

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He stays in his bedroom with the covers drawn up over his knees. 

(He wants to apologize-- but she left--)

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...he pauses, debates for a moment, and then knocks on Asher's door. 

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"You can come in."

(Maybe it's her--)

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It's not her. 

"Hey." 

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He is visibly disappointed. 

"Hey. Is she okay?"

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"She's doing better than she was half an hour ago, but in general she's about as okay as you'd expect from someone whose boyfriend just got mad at her for having been raped." 

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"She didn't tell me."

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"She didn't tell you what?" 

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"That she was raped."

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"Yes, and she tried to argue to me that you were right, she should have come up with some other way to deal with her feelings, and I had to tell her that the word for sex you don't want to be having but can't end is not 'bad decision.'" 

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"Well, if you know someone's not going to stop if you say 'no', it doesn't seem like a great decision to have sex with them anyway!"

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