–ow. Fuck. Gutshot. Dodging bullets is hard.

Asher has no lethal weapons he's willing to use on a person but he knocks the guy out with particular enthusiasm. 

"Deadpool got shot." He turns to Deadpool. "How do you feel?"

He considers this.

"...same way I usually do when I get shot? In pain, little bit disoriented, kinda horny?"

"Good. If you start seeing dancing elephants, they're not really there."

"Nnnoted."

He coughs a little and dispatches another guard.

A mook comes out of the building carrying a ray that looks like it came from a bad 1950s scifi film.

"I'm gonna guess Buck Rogers there is our mind controller," Asher says, and prepares to blast the ray out of his hand.

How about that guy in particular gets webbed, that sounds like a good idea. 

The mooks are all fleeing back into the building.

"–it's not that guy."

"How do you know?"

(Buck Rogers dodges Asher's first blast.)

Then how about everyone gets webbed, just for safety —

Some of the mooks get webbed, but most of them manage to get inside the building. 

There's an odd sort of noise. It sounds like the feeling you get when you want to grind your teeth. 

"Everybody's getting the fuck out of dodge. Ray gun's directional. This is–either an area of effect kind of deal, or–"

Holy fuck that's annoying.

"God, it really is, I want to kill him just about the noise--"

He's floating in midair. He's not doing anything.

"Everyone. Turn up your music." 

Jarvis turns everyone's music up loud enough that it causes hearing damage but the sound gets in through your bones.

♫ I MET A BOY WEARING VANS, 501S, ♫

...huh.

He suddenly really wants to kill everyone here.

♫ AND A DOPE BEASTIE TEE, NIPPLE RINGS, NEW TATTOOS, ♫

How about that.

No matter how much he wants to strangle Asher fucking Stark he cannot do it that is —

"Marlo, has it occurred to you that you're a terrible fucking person?"

"Like you," and he's snarling, "would know a goddamned thing about —" 

"Yes! I actually know lots of things about being a bad person! But unlike some people--"

Asher's point, whatever it was, was lost to posterity, as he crashes ten feet into the ground. "Fucking Jarvis."

♫ AND HE SAID HE! WAS OGT! ♫

Deadpool is buffering. Please wait.

♫ BACK IN '92! FROM THE FIRST EP! ♫

"You had to physically witness a bombing to realize weapons kill people," and something was going to come after that but it doesn't seem particularly important —

That. That is definitely a not great fact about him, and he hadn't thought about how bad it is before it was put like that, but the blood is pulsing in his ears and he hates Sasha and he hates Marlo and he wants to hurt them and that seems more important than processing the exact scale of his idiocy two years ago--

"Sir," Jarvis says, "I believe you have been compromised by a mind-control weapon. I suggest you stay still and don't say anything until the evac arrives."

"Fuck off, Jarvis."