“...what, why do I get a pass? I don’t want it. Give it back.”

This is why dating an Asher is a terrible fucking idea. Can’t handle mental illness to save his life — he’s probably gonna kick you out on your ass to jump off a bridge when your girlfriend — UNENDORSED!

“Are you seriously coping this little with the mind control thing, or were you just lying during uncomfortable truths time?”

"Because I love you," Asher says with impeccable logic, "I don't want to be mean to you, I love you."

"And the playboy is so trustworthy when he says he loves you —" 

"You're pretty. No one is going to date Deadpool for the sexual gratification."

“...sorry, could you say that again? Didn’t quite catch it.”

STAY. CHILL. STAY FUCKING CHILL.

"Nobody's going to date Deadpool for the sexual gratification."

...wow. Huh.

For once, Crazy Deadpool is right about something.

Fuck this.

“...so, is it just the horrible disfigurement, or does every Asher either kill or fuck kids? Because — being totally honest here — kinda starting to look like a pattern.”

"I what?"

“Yeah, I wasn’t gonna tell you, but fuck you?”

He leans back against a convenient wall.

“You wanna know how many worlds there are where you wouldn’t murder a 12-year-old for some bullshit cause? One. You’re in it.”

Asher doesn't say anything. He absently notices his hands are shaking. The heartbeat monitor is beeping continuously in his ear. 

“Don’t bother trying to look this up from the audience, by the way, it’s Word of God.”

He fingers the trigger on his pistol. Locked. Figures.

“Spidey, the only time you give a shit whether anybody else lives or dies is when you personally wanna keep them. Marlo — wow, gay is too fucking easy, I almost feel like I need another one.”

"— I'm aware that I care about my friends and family and do not care that much about random members of the population at large, yes, do you seriously think I should stop doing that?" 

— he's frozen. 

Asher sees Marlo's face and says, "honestly, that explains a lot."

"–I can't believe 'hey, Cap, you want to fuck men' gets a bigger reaction than 'hey, Spidey, you'd go full Thanos if you thought it'd get you comfy and safe'. Fucking disappointed in our culture."

"Anyway, it doesn't matter, because if you haven't noticed we're all being mind-controlled into hating each other."

He's gonna have such a spite-hangover tomorrow.

"Pretty sure Asher and Marlo don't need the mind control." (He can't bolt he can't bolt he can't he can't he's needed here and Asher is going to hurt Lev and —)

"Maybe if you'd had any ethics at all I would have actually loved you."

"You are so obnoxious when you're not sane."

He makes a grab for the sword again.

Asher easily dodges Deadpool's attempt to grab it.

"You are so obnoxious all the time."

"— you know Lev only feels safe around you because he thinks you wouldn't fuck a fifteen year old, don't you?" 

The blood is thrumming in his ears. His hands are clenching. 

Is Lev scared of him? That can't be right. He would never hurt Lev; Lev has to know that. Sasha is just accusing him of things, because Sasha wants to hurt him, because that's the sort of person that Sasha is. 

The Iron Man mask comes off, revealing Asher's face, as he stomps over to Sasha. 

"I'm not going to hurt him because, unlike you, I care about more things than just my personal comfort."

"And suddenly the playboy can be trusted when he says he loves someone? That first night Lev was terrified of you, and he was right to be —" 

(It hurts to hear that, it hurts, he doesn't want to scare Lev, he doesn't want to scare anyone he loves--)