He wants — something — wants to hurt Asher as badly as he can, wants to run — 

♫ AND BETWEEN SIPS OF COKE, HE TOLD ME THAT HE THOUGHT WE ♫

Okay. Let's go through these one at a time, shall we?

Spidey literally doesn't care about anybody but himself, and would sell us all out in a heartbeat if his own life was in danger, and I hate him. Unendorsed!

Marlo Rogers is a self-righteous dickhead who somehow both has low self-esteem and thinks I don't deserve to lick his stupid spangly boots, and I hate him. Unendorsed!

Asher Stark is a shallow fucking pretty boy Sue who's pretending to be into me while he daydreams about railing a 15-year-old and is stealing my girlfriend in another dimension, and I hate him.

Say it with me, folks! UN-EN-DORSED!

'Wow, Crazy Deadpool, you've made so much progress in the last six years!' 'Gee, thanks, Therapist Deadpool!'

♫ WERE SELLING OUT! LAYING DOWN! SUCKING UP TO THE MAN! ♫

"Marlo, you talk about your fiance like you read in a book somewhere that paragons of moral virtue are supposed to experience love, and you picked out an appropriate subject for it, and you're doing all the things a paragon of moral virtue who is in love is supposed to do, and you're constantly looking at other people to check that you're doing it right, and you don't feel anything because you are literally constantly faking it. I bet you were relieved when you found out your fiancee was dead because you can get out of it by pretending that you're grieving. I don't know that you've ever loved anyone at all."

"And you," and his voice is ice-cold, "are so fucking shallow that you cannot conceive that anyone might be different from you, unless they are faking every move they make to hide that they are secretly evil, and I don't know how you've gotten your head out of your ass long enough to notice that other people exist in the world but clearly it didn't help much." 

“Jesus fuck, it’s like you people have never hated your friends before.”

"Oh man. Swearing! I really hit a nerve, didn't I? Better repress a bit more, Marlo, if it keeps going this way you might experience a real human feeling and then where will we be?"

"Oh, good, you do know my name, you're so self-centered I wasn't sure —" 

“Seriously? Are we just going to stop here and have a vent session? We had a thing!”

"Here's some free advice about insults. You need to make sure your insults are, one, actually true and, two, something the person you're insulting doesn't know and accept about themselves."

Asher grabs the sword from the guy Deadpool killed. It seems like the sort of thing that will come in handy. 

“—can you also not take my stuff? You are seriously not somebody I want to have a pointy object right now.”

"I'm glad we live in a world where it's even possible to be as naive as you." 

"All the rest of you are superheroes. When Jarvis shuts down my weapons, I'm a normal guy in really good armor. I'm keeping the pointy object."

"Good job repressing things, Marlo! You must feel so embarrassed about having admitted you hate me for a minute there. God forbid Captain America have feelings about people! The only emotions you need are patriotism and apple pie."

"At least I'm not under the impression that my feelings should dictate international policy —" 

"Will you both shut up!" 

"Why, do you think I should do things just because you want me to do them?"

"I think that just because some rich boy decided to give peace a chance doesn't mean anyone else should listen to him —" 

He is not bolting he is not he is NOT 

"Will you please shut up!!" 

“Thank you!”

Good job, guy he also hates!

"Sasha, it's cute that you think you can ask me for things and then I'll give them to you."

His name. His name his name his name. Now everyone knows his name because fucking Asher — 

"You said —" he bites off the rest of the sentence, replaces it with — "Just because you've always been safe —"

"I don't really care that much whether you're safe? Oh, but you trusted me. Because I was charming and seemed sincere and said I loved you, and obviously the playboy is super trustworthy when he's charming and says he loves you."

"Because you took in —" Lev, Lev, what is he — 

"Then what are you going to do to Lev!" 

"I'm not going to do anything to Lev, I actually love Lev. And Deadpool. And not you. --For future reference, if a guy who's way older than you keeps writing porn about you and cuddling you and talking about how much he loves you and wants to date you, the thing he wants is sex."

"And you called me a terrible person who fakes my feelings."