"...seventy percent."

"I'm not going to sleep with him."

"I'm sorry, I'm really just teasing my brother. I like both my soon-to-be-sister-in-law and my alternate universe sister-in-law splendidly and I trusted my Edie very shortly after meeting her - and was correct, she had fantastic instincts for the situation at hand - but it's astonishing how well she and he hit it off. In two very different situations, too."

"What's the other one like?"

"The other you? Her parents died in a tragic mess that was blamed on them, and they were wandering when they got sent somehow to a magic tree Arda, which are these utterly bizarre worlds that are like mine except yet to invent the printing press."

"...Weird."

"Yes. So she met Tyelcormo in the wilderness, and he adored her, and she - needed that, and shiny tree Elf marriage comes with a magical soul bond, and long story short - though I guess it definitionally couldn't have been a very long story - they got married a week after meeting and spent the next several decades exploring the countryside and being in love, while Imliss -" he nods at Emily - "invented the printing press for them."

"I think my alt wins."

"It's not a contest."

"You're just saying that 'cause you'd lose."

"Am not."

"Anyway, then horrible things happened and they died, but they inexplicably got reincarnated and now Tyelcormo and Idaia are making up for lost time and Imliss, finding herself somewhere the printing press has already been invented, is working on getting better with dreamshaping because she's hopeful you can eventually do reincarnation with it."

"And they're going to have a baby?"

"They are! I can't tell you when because Milliways does time very strangely, but they are expecting a daughter. There's an announcement - Edie here can hook you up with computers and then you can read all the group messages and so on..."

This is going to result in a slight digression as the concept of computers small and convenient enough for casual personal use is explained to them.

Understandable.

"Is this thing going to get damaged if I poke it with magnetism?"

"Nope."

"Awesome."

And the rest of a summary of the worlds and their occupants and please-don't-murder-my-evil-rapist-alt-I-know-it's-tempting-but-we-don't-have-a-good-solution-there.

The twins assure him that after growing up for eight years in an apocalyptic wasteland just being a rapist is not enough for it to be difficult for them not to kill him.

That is a not very reassuring reassurance but okay. And there's an account of the war in Singularity on your computers, if you have questions about it you can take them to your alts or to me, do not bother Cam, please.

Yeah okay.  

...Wow, they were not fucking around when they said Morgoths were evil.

They really weren't.

Would they like to see if Edie's powers bypass daeva indestructibility, because if so she can probably do for daeva Morgoth.