"I was going to observe that magic that'll kill a magic Vala will probably also take a magic Elf and if he wants - out - versions of me who are not in constant agony can handle doing the things he cares about, but actually I think I might need him to stay around being a counterweight should I ever experience a moment's optimism."

"I would very dearly like to die but it can wait. Has waited."

And then the shuttles start arriving.

(earlier)

The shuttle is right where Idaia's apparent alternate-universe version said it would be.

...She didn't get there first. This probably wouldn't be less awkward if she had.

"...hi."

She bites her lip. "Hi."

It's kind of an awkwardly small shuttle, too. "You go to school here?"

"Uh, yeah. Undergrad froshie. Haven't been here long."

"That would explain how we hadn't run across each other."

"Yeah.

Idaia's doppelganger says it's been thirty thousand years."

"Coming up on thirty-one."

"I have--so many things I want to say--and I don't think most of them would be a good idea even if--even if it had all happened yesterday--"

"Go ahead."

"I'm angry with you. I love you. I want none of this to have ever happened. I hate that you burned the boats. I hate that Artanis and the others provoked you into burning the boats. I hate that no one ever taught your dad healthy coping mechanisms. I miss you. I want to go home. I want to come home. I want to hug everyone and pretend that none of this happened and everything's okay and I know it's not. Idaia and I were going to try to fix aging on our own and become stronger than any Kilaiuossan dreamshaper ever did and storm Mandos and rescue you all and then it would be okay because you'd have enough proof that we loved you and were on your side that I could yell at your dad without him taking it as an attack. I promised myself that no matter what I'd forgive you all one day when a Nolofinwean said Idaia had to admit Feanaro was crazy and unfit for the kingship and she didn't agree and she didn't want to say it but she felt like she had to and I just--I don't have anything else--please still love me--"

"Of course we still love you, Imliss, you're family, you were - you were going to storm Mandos for us - how could we ever stop -"

"I thought I didn't have anyone else in the world who would ever really love me again except Idaia. I just--I love you, I missed you, I'm mad but I never hated you, I swear I never hated you..."

Hugs, insofar as these can be managed in the shuttle. "It's okay," he says, "I love you, we love you, you're our sister."

She scrubs at her eyes and then hugs back. "Okay. Good. I just--thirty thousand years--"

"It was worse than you can possibly imagine. It does not change that we're a family."

"When I imagined storming Mandos I pretended to myself that things could just be okay after and I think I always knew deep down that wasn't how it worked. But."

"Right now I have no idea what the fuck is going on and can't say whether we'll come out of it okay."

"If this is something hostile trying to trick us one advantage of horrible trauma is that I can create so much fucking ice in their faces they won't know what hit them if they try to hurt any of us."

"Something hostile with little remotely-piloted shuttles that can cross the country in under an hour would be scary even if you can ice them really hard."

"Granted. I'm just going to do my best not to be scared out of my wits until we get there."

Hugs.