...to depend on others
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kitkatcat: t-t-triple kill! do-not-jin is unstoppable!
beancounter: also not all esper partnerships involve sex.
beancounter: they can just be friends who watch movies or something together guys.
beancounter: don't need to always make it weird.
kitkatcat: yeah that's an awful stereotype that hurts espers.
kitkatcat: fun as a fanfiction trope tho
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qt patoo t: tru but also Yoo-min and Seungjoo are dating

yoo-min-max: @SenSoJoo T.T

SenSoJoo: oh wow lots of unread notifs
SenSoJoo: I went to the bathroom, what'd I miss?

yoo-min-max: ...

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kitkatcat: I unfortunately can't count that as a quadruple kill but ymm is definitely dead from that.
kitkatcat: f.
Tconnoisseur: OoooOoooOoooo F oooooOOooOOooooo...
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qt patoo t: F

yoo-min-max: I'm being bullied by everyone

SenSoJoo: it's okay hyung you have me I'll protect you from the bullies 😊

yoo-min-max: ....🥺


taegun fan no. 1183: wow
taegun fan no. 1183: i didnt get a single f?
taegun fan no. 1183: i see im not loved here
taegun fan no. 1183: thats ok my life-sized cardboard cutout of tae-gun-sunbae and i dont want anything to do with you guys anyway

nomu?: lol???

SeoAAAA: wtf


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Okay, so - she's still mortified and feels awful, but she needs to have a conversation before their next scheduled dungeon. Fortunately the one where she'd forgotten herself was their last of the day, so there's a whole night of sleep between her and it, but, well. The guilt is still there.

So, before their next dungeon is scheduled:
Hey, Hye-jin here. I'd like to apologize again. I got a pair of gloves.
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?

It's fine.

That wasn't necessary.

And I also apologise.

For not looping you into the teleport, that is. It just slipped my mind.

Min Woo-young said you messaged him? That's not necessary either, I can show you how to work the automated teleportation system.

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It's okay! You seemed pretty freaked out.
But yeah please do, if I'm allowed on it. I wasn't sure if the automated teleportation system would, like.
Let me or needed a password or something.
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I expect you should have the same access as everyone else? 

We can check in-person in a little bit, though, to make sure.

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I mean I kind of
Sort of
Yelled at Quasar's president and told him I wanted nothing from him or his guild or something
So, uh.
Turns out that's kind of inconvenient!
I'm still working on hiring an independent company for support staff for myself, so uh. Little awkward!
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But you're working with the Guild, no? That's where we get our missions from?

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Yeah, but they are not contractually obligated to give me anything except money and mission assignments with you, so
I was expecting only that.
Actually do you want to hear my explanation in person, it was like, a whole thing.
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It takes longer than the other messages for him to respond to that one, but, 

Okay.

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Yeah, she's not surprised. She wouldn't normally push, but if they're already having an extended conversation, she's kind of concerned about his backlash!! If he's already willing to talk to her then they should be leveraging that time, really!

... I don't have a non-guild place to meet. Does my temporary silo work okay for you? It's better than the HQ at least.
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Yeah, that works.

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Then, after a brief tutorial for how to operate the automated teleportation system:

Here they are! At her (temporary!!!!) silo.

"Hey," she says. She's got her gloves on, and is respectfully keeping her distance. "So, uh, how much... of my background do you know?"

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He's also keeping a distance from her and has his hands folded behind his back. "You used to work at White Star Guild in Japan, you had a falling out with your old partner, you came here."

...wow, Tae-gun. Maybe he should... know more about his partner? Like literally anything???

On the other hand the idea of getting any closer to her feels terrifying for some reason.

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"You have the broad strokes, then! Um. My ex-partner and I also dated, which started after several years of working together platonically. It was almost entirely based on esper compatibility and spending a lot of time together, and was definitely a mistake, in retrospect. For multiple reasons. Um. But one of them was that the - White Star Guild," she needs to specify, of course, "had... kind of been pushing for it because it was good for optics and media attention and, like, you know how people get with esper partnerships anyway, right. They thought we were cute together. And I-I mean I guess we were, superficially, but."

She looks down at her lap. "So, that ended badly, with him on a personal level, but also, it was. Not. Good for the guild's media presence? And he was the one who did interviews and was more social and well liked by everyone, so." She fidgets. "I learned really fast that guild anything comes with strings. People I'd thought were friends were - telling me I was overreacting, to give him another chance, that we were so cute together, that really what he wanted was for the good of Japan, a-and I was getting stonewalled resources wise and it was just. Bad. It was bad."

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He wants to immediately defend Quasar and say that they wouldn't do that but does he really know that? He's their star, does he know for sure that the Guild wouldn't do something like that if he and Kim Hye-jin got into a fight? They did bend over backwards for him after Kang Jaeha—

—he should not think that name.

"...Min Woo-young would fight anyone who treated anyone else that way at Quasar," he says, because at least that much he's sure of. There are probably others who would, now that he thinks about it, but he's very sure that there's at least Woo-young. Maybe he should also say that? He doesn't know how to, though, and being near her like this... clouds his judgement.

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"Yeah he - actually already did!" She's still pretty astonished by this, actually. "Um. But that's getting ahead of things a little. Quasar, or at least - I don't know, whatever... fraction of Quasar I was dealing with... kind of. Did. Something like that. Because I got dumped in a room with you and you didn't know I was coming. And no one - warned me or explained the situation or. A-a-anything." She is not going to start crying. She is not. She is not. "And I realized everything in my contract was all just. To put me in a room with you. Another pawn for another guild's star boy." She'snotgoingtocryshe'snotgoingtocry.

"That's - not to say I'm mad at you or blame you or anything," she says quickly, because it's necessary to say something to stop herself from sobbing. "I just, it, I. It did it, and I yelled at the president about it, and he was just, 'Oh but think of all of the people who want to meet you' and it was just. Everything. All over again. So. Uh. I will basically always hate your guild for that. Sorry."

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"I don't really... know these things. People things. I guess I... But the Guild wouldn't... cut your access to things." Not for him, because if they did he might—do something about it. He doesn't know what. "I don't know. I don't blame you? For feeling this way. Or, or think you're wrong or. Anything." ...he doesn't know where he's going with that. Maybe nowhere? This feels fraught.

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"I mean I don't blame me for feeling this way either, these are defensive instincts that kept me from being swallowed whole into a suffocating domestic housewife situation with White Star, they're fucking precious and I will fight anyone that tries to dismiss them, just. Um. I don't. Trust that they wouldn't. Because, again. They. Just want me here for you."

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"That seems..." He really, really wishes he could refute it, but what does he know? Only the way the Guild treats him, and it's...

...hm.

"That would be stupid if they did," is what he settles on. "Anyone with eyes could see how useful—I mean, how good you are."

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Okay, now she'll cry. She still doesn't want to, but she does anyway.

"Right! I'm very, very good!! On my own merits without any..." Sniffle. "Anyone else involved, really. But. Um. I figured you should know my baggage or something? Have context for why I'm wary of your guild and don't really want to be attached? Honestly the - the professional distance thing is kind of great for me too, even if I'm super concerned about your backlash and kind of fuck up sometimes, it's, I, just. Um. Fuck I'm making a hash of this, I probably should have done this over text, I'd be more coherent that way. I just would have spent forever trying to figure out what to say..."

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Yeah he totally agrees actually this is awful but it is what it is, they're already here, even if he's having to grip his wrists behind his back with enough strength he'd have squeezed a regular human's to a pulp in order to not reach out. And in order not to do something else that he might regret.

One of those is a lot safer than the other.

That's better. It's better if he can't reach out and touch her, better for all involved. Especially after what she just said, it's better if she doesn't get even a whiff of the—thoughts—it's better. He's been there and done that and it's not worth it, and he needs to protect himself.

"I think Korea is lucky to have you and Japan should be sad to have lost you," he says, which is literally contentless after what he'd said just prior but he doesn't know what else to say instead. "...if there's anything you do need from the Guild then—I don't know if this helps. Um. I think... anyone? Not just me, I think if you asked anyone you'd—get it. I don't know what. ...the teleportation worked?"

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"I-it did, yes," she hiccups. "So that's nice. Um. I'll - probably do any reaching out for guild resources for now in the interim as I - sort out something I like better for myself? Turns out it's kind of hard. To be an esper alone in a new country. There's a lot we need for support and I - barely know this side of my family, really, and I'm living in a guest room and a silo someone else set up and everything is behind like a billion contracts and research and hiring and. It's a lot. Um. Sorry, I. Did not expect to cry. I. Probably should have. Um. Thank you for listening, sorry to suddenly. Dump my entire emotional everything on you? I mostly just wanted to give you context. And. I guess you did get it, huh?"

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