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"Nerdanel gets to study with Mahtan and she's pretty impatient."

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"What did she do that was impatient?"

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"She kept correcting me and taking things out of my hands to show me how she'd do it."

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"Did you ask her to stop?"

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"No, because she was right, and I felt stupid."

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"Maybe she noticed that you prefer to learn things as fast as possible and was trying to help. Do you think she'd do that to someone who was teaching her?"

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"...no, because she wouldn't know what to do with them."

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"Did she do anything else that made her seem impatient?"

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"She talked really fast and got bored easily."

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"What got her bored?"

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"Me bothering her about whether her father would take me, me being sad about not accomplishing anything."

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"So far none of the things you've listed seem like they'd be any trouble at all to somebody who was teaching her a skill."

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"What do I do that would be?"

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"Well, I've never watched Mahtan's teaching style, so I'd have to guess - after all, you work fine with me when I'm teaching a thing, this isn't purely generic, it's more about fit. You feel very strongly about setting your own schedule and have trouble pacing yourself. You have strong, intrusive emotions that affect how pleasant company you are when you aren't getting sustained feedback to the effect that you are accomplishing things and are good enough and so on. You're really suspicious of most people's motives and jump to uncharitable explanations for things they say. When you aren't getting what you want you try harder to get what you want, often in very imperious or bullheaded ways, instead of backtracking to find out if it's a good thing to want in the first place or if there's a compromise. You're averse to signaling respect for any but a handful of traits which people like to be respected regardless of."

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"Oh.


That's a lot."
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"You're a complicated person."

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"I'm a really awful one."

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"No you're not. You're brilliant and adorable and I love you and I want you to be able to solve all your problems so I'm trying to tell you what things might be holding you back."

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"But that's so many things! How could you love someone with that many things wrong with them??"

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"Everybody has things wrong with them. Besides, that list doesn't happen to rub me the wrong way. If you're setting your schedule, I can just wander off and do something else when you're busy. I'm the sort of person who was going to be a full time therapist so when you're upset, I want to help, not leave the room. You listen to me when I explain what I really meant even if you jumped to a conclusion first, since I know how to explain stuff so you'll understand; and you often also listen to me about how to get what you want better. And I don't get hung up on signals of respect."

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"Do you think Mahtan does?"

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"I'm not sure; I haven't got that good a model of him."

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"I thought my father'd be insulted he wasn't taking me and insist, but he didn't."

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"Why'd you think he'd do that?"

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"Because in general people are very flattered to have the chance to teach our family. There were thousands of people who wanted to tutor me even though I had a reputation as a difficult student."

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