Ari shrugs. "Just being naked in public is almost becoming the new normal for me. It takes something special to really turn me on. Like you being naked in public."

"Am I special, now?" he says, voice dripping with sarcasm, but it does make a warmth appear in his chest. "Anyway, I think we have a date."

"We do! And I keep dodging your question, about how'd I get so lucky. Uh, the short story is, I grew up... under some weird circumstances. It was just my crazy adoptive mom and me in this big house in the middle of nowhere in Quebec, so I was kind of poorly socialized? But then she died when I was 15, and I went into foster care and public school. That's where I met Sally. And we made friends, because we were both weird in different ways. And then there was this whole thing... Sally and I were wandering around, and we got lost, and somebody tried to mug us? And I kind of took a literal bullet for her, and beat the guy up, and it was a whole thing. And Sally kind of adopted me, after that, and after we got out of school she decided we should live together, and I said yes because what the hell else was I gonna do?"

He exhales. "So. That."

"That's really sweet and brave."

"Aw, thanks. But what about you? You've got a story too."

He shrugs. "Parents kicked me out 'cause of the gay thing. I got by, was an English major—I had a cool roommate, they're genderfluid, I think you two would get along—and then... I just... sort of ended up here. And that's it."

"Why'd you major in English?"

"'Cause I'm lazy," he says, sarcastically, then sighs. "It's—fascinating how people think and how they structure their narratives because of it, and how language has evolved and what stories we tell as it does that, because language shapes thought, too..." He sighs a second time, then shrugs.

"I like the second explanation better. What's wrong?"

"I am—I was a receptionist at a fancy building."

"And you did it very well. What of it?"

"Not my dream job, is all."

"Well, what is your dream job? Maybe that's how I can help you."

Shrug.

Ari leans over and kisses him. "Maybe you could write a book."

He laughs. "Yes, and you would, what, fuck your way into getting it published?"

Quest available: Fuck Your Way Into Getting It Published

You heard the man. Get Eric to write a book and then get it published by a big publisher. With sex.

Success: +5,000xp, greatly increased relations with Eric Jones, Eric publishes a book, ???
Failure: Eric gives up on writing forever
Accept: Y/N

"You know, I bet you could do it without my help. But just in case, I do now have a quest to that effect."

"Should I just tell you to fuck people so you get more quests?"

Quest available: Fuck People So You Get More Quests

Find someone to fuck so that they will give you a quest.

Success: +500xp, another quest
Failure: You're the Erogamer, if you accept this quest you know you won't fail it
Accept: Y/N

"You just did," Ari grins.

He accepts the quests. Fuck People is free XP, come on.

"Has this been a date yet, do you think? I haven't been on enough to tell."

"...why haven't you?"

Ari shrugs. "I haven't really been the dating type. I had a lot of sex, but I wouldn't really go for anything more than 'regular fuck-buddy'. But... I dunno, I like the idea of having something more substantial with you."

"Don't know how to feel about that."

"Why not?"

"I have a Greek god telling me he's slept around a lot but feels something special about me. Gee, I wonder."

"I'm not Greek, I'm Jewish. But you are special. And I have slept around a lot. And will continue to do so, as it is the source of my divine powers. I don't see what's so wrong with any of that."