Damn all chemical weapons!

Wrong evil god, you're thinking of Asmodeus! Also, chemical weapons don't do friendly fire, right?

Uh... was that in the design doc?

Abramo is too busy throwing up to mention the Chaotic Stupid thing again, but he'd be thinking it very loudly if he could string two words together.

(Right so there's Lawful Stupid, there's Chaotic Stupid, and then there's Videogame AI Stupid.)

I mean, that sure did make a mess of your intended sortie and drive your defenders back to the ranks of the Eagle Watch, didn't it? Sounds like Working As Designed to us. Also, we read some military SF once that asserted that it takes very good and disciplined troops to get up so close to the barrage as to take casualties from their own artillery, but it's a winning move!

Those fictional troops generally weren't running into Enlarged paladins. Seelah will take down two dretches in quick succession, that's our doctrine for chemical-warfare countermeasures, right?

Nenio, being a devotee of Nethys - they even have the same first syllable in their names! - is metatextually aware that arson has been a bit of a controversy around here (for metatextual values of 'here') recently, and is briefly in doubt about whether to let the cultist grenadiers through. Nethys presumably approves of the explosions, after all. But - Nethys likely approves even more of explosions created by her, Nenio, His greatest and most intelligent devotee! And those grenades can likely be improved upon by someone of her intelligence, if she captures one for examination.

Create Pit.

Yeah the thing about that is, you have to get lucky every time and we just need to make the Reflex save once.

Alchemist's Fire.

The tavern dies!

(I'm sure that is somehow meaningful within the game's combat model but its immediate tactical or strategic effect is not very clear. I still see "Tavern Defenses 12/12".)

Woljif will stand at the top of the ladder and absolutely slaughter his way through the level-1 fighters coming up it, even when they take down the Kenabrian who is flanking for him. The sexy shoeful god of war does not need sneak attacks!

And we can have another wave of attackers going up the ladders, including more chemical-weapons troops Dretches!

Woljif will demonstrate the martial virtue of knowing when to retreat!

(Ah, it looks like the "Tavern Defenses" thing was just bugged that first time? The other buildings take it down by one when they die.)

A Blessed Enlarged Bull-Strengthed paladin can hold a gate against a really surprising number of low-level fighters. 

Kenabres kestää!

Yeah you guys really ought to be going with a skirmish formation in a chemical-weapons-free environment if you're not going to have proper countermeasures.

Stinking Cloud.

That works better if your troops then break through to slaughter the defenders.

Entangle.

Then there will be a breathing space while the attackers work their way through the Entangle, the militia work their way through the last week of dinners, and Abramo works his way through his high-level spell slots to get Seelah and Woljif back into fighting shape.

That's... not good. Fortunately Abramo prepared for this sort of situation.

Holy Smite.

Yeah I'm not actually an outsider though, so that's 3d8, Will save halves... 4 damage.

That's... plusungood.

A human GM might start nudging the dice at this point; I'm going to go that one better and "forget" about the DR 5/Good on this thing.