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cayden cailean gets laid
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... of course. "The adventuring life will do that."

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He reminisces: "We adventured together for a while. Worked together to overthrow this Reaper of Reputation cult. She used her network from her johns to get information and did a bit of poison, I did the intimidating and the fighting and got any information I could get from getting drunk... it was good times. But when we finally destroyed the leader she wanted to retire, run her own brothel, raise her kids. I stop by now and then. The girl's good with her sword, I think she'll take after her dad."

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"She's going to grow up to be a terror."

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"Well, her mom hasn't given up on her having a nice safe job in the family business."

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"I can't imagine knowing a bit of sword play wouldn't hurt."

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"Keep the johns on their toes."

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"Keep them on their toes, I'm sure there's someone out there that likes people holding blades to their neck--" Meaningful look at Cayden.

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He laughs. "Not me! I'm boring in that way. I like two or more people having a good time."

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"Mmm, I'm definitely sitting here very bored."

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He kisses Astarion's temple. "Calistria's hairy cunt, people are weird about anal."

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"It is a strange thing to decide to do, you have to agree on that."

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"And half the tops don't realize it's not supposed to hurt."

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????? "I think you have to give them some credit, they're fighting biological reality on that one."

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"I mean, not really? If the bottom is relaxed and the top takes some time with it instead of just jamming his dick in."

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That Still Does Not Sound Right. "Their inherent impatience is still a reality."

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"Men don't have to suck. They are choosing to suck of their own free will."

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Enh. "Well, good thing there are people like you who are using their free will to be altruistic."

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"Yes. I altruistically make sure people I fuck am having a good time, and altruistically go to plays with people who like plays, and altruistically don't get drunk with people who are sitting in surly silence and glaring at the bar like it killed their dog."

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Snuggle. "Truly, you provide a service to the world. With your special arsehole."

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