"I hear someone potting--oh, Foolish is potting--good thing I can just sit here and just--"

"George is in diamond armor, just kill George, he's so free."

"He's killing me, he's killing me! Sapnap, do something!" (This is in reference to Foolish.)

The overall impression is that they're very invested in fighting each other. The approximate sides are Foolish and BadBoyHalo vs George and Sapnap; everyone else is mostly watching.

Yeah okay Q neither gives a shit about nor can do anything about the fighting. 

...but that's Tubbo's house, he's pretty sure. If there's something in the house, something that can be killed, maybe he should be taking care of that, before George and Sapnap notice. 

There are, in fact, several houses: four small ones and a mansion.

Hannah didn't really indicate which one so he'll go with the small ones first, if he can get into them without being too obviously in George or Sapnap's line of sight, they look easier to search. 

The first house he checks is empty (or, well, it has stuff in it, but nothing alive.) The second house he checks has a young anthropomorphic zombie-pig-like being living in the upstairs along with a chicken, in a lovingly decorated room: there are beds, bookshelves, flowers in vases, a half-eaten cake, a bed big enough for two. On the walls are photographs and drawings, all with the same focus: Tubbo and Ranboo and the zombie pig-boy.

(Quackity has about five minutes before Sapnap opens the door.)

Five minutes is absolutely not enough for a real barrier, a real weapon, or a real trap. 

Five minutes might be enough to get the kid downstairs via the ladder, and then to break a hole in the floor under him, mining down one block at a time so the kid doesn't get hurt, and then to replace the floor and two blocks below it so it's not obvious what he did. Then, for good measure, he starts tunnelling away, replacing the blocks behind him as he goes; he can't get very far before he'll have to stop making noise but it's not like George is the kind of person who'll put in effort if he makes it annoying. 

He can make that happen in five minutes. He can't really manage to do much tunneling before he hears footsteps above him, but he and the pigboy are hidden.

Above him, still in audible range:

"Hi!"

"Do I kill Eret, George?"

"No, I'm good, I don't have anything on me."

As soon as he hears the door open Q stops and goes quiet, sits down on the floor so he can hold the kid in his lap. This, at least, is a problem already solved; "keep a small child quiet for an amount of time best measured in minutes" is not easy but it's doable if there's nothing else that needs doing. 

Doors open and close. Sapnap's voice gets fainter again and then disappears completely.

Quackity_V68 whispers to The_Eret: do you think they're actually gone

Quackity_V68 whispers to The_Eret: is that the kid's name? yeah i did
Quackity_V68 whispers to The_Eret: thank you

The_Eret whispers to Quackity_V68: thank you

About fifteen minutes later:

The_Eret whispers to Quackity_V68: everyone's gone except me and BBH

He stands and mines directly up, still holding Michael.

"Has someone already texted Ranboo or Tubbo, I can do that if not—" 

"They didn't respond. Best plan is probably to hide Michael somewhere far away for now in case George comes back and let them know, leave some texts with coordinates, maybe a sign letting them know who to ask if they don't get the texts for some reason."

"Right. My usual strat is 'not so much hard to find as annoying as hell to look for,' you might know better than me where a good choice for that would be." 

"Fastest thing to do with the least chance of him running away or hurting himself is probably to take him by boat and make a little room in the side of a cliff somewhere, but that might fail being easy to find."

"Nah, that works, easy enough to get to if you know where to look but George is never gonna put that much effort into searching cliffsides. I, uh, do not actually know how boats work, do I just— hand him off to you—?" 

"Sure, that works fine." They put the boat down in front of Michael and nudge him into it. "I'll take him from here?"