“What the fuck.”

Ugh. He already has an awful headache from dealing with Wilbur and Tubbo and whoever else wants to threaten his nation—

—it doesn’t matter. He has a job to do.

<Quackity> WHAT THE FUCK

<Quackity> Foolish I swear to God if you’re pulling another prank

<ItsFundy> what 

<FoolishG> don’t look at me I didn’t do anything

(The other Quackity’s phone buzzes.)

His pager's still in his pocket, along with everything else he typically keeps in his pockets. At least he hadn't taken his shoes off yet. He'd even put on a jacket, since he was staying in for the rest of the night and the room was cold. Really, it could be much worse! 

<Quackity_V68> for whatever it's worth I have no idea what's going on either 

<Quackity_V68> where even is this

(He's in a forest, or at least what once was a forest; there are walls around him, of stone and dirt and wood and some other materials he doesn't recognize, one of which appears to be on fire? There are occasional heapings and outcroppings to let you climb over the walls, but it does take climbing. It's also extremely ugly.)

<BadBoyHalo> O_o

<KarlJacobs> Dream SMP

<Quackity_V68> cool cool cool

Quietly, he's grateful that his Games weren't in a forest. He has no idea where he is and Karl (??) seems to think 'Dream SMP' should mean something to him; he doesn't need to additionally be fighting off a panic attack. 

Okay. Climbing over the walls. He can do that. They didn't even put him in heels.

It could, he reminds himself, be worse.

Aside from the forest, he can see a strange structure in the distance, the outline of a rectangular...portal?...in obsidian, glowing purple inside. It looks like there's a path by it, too. (If he goes towards it he'll also start to see more structures: houses, towers, stone and wood paths.)

Sure. Okay. This might as well happen. Maybe on the other side there'll be people, and he can at least try to figure out what's even happening. Through the portal it is. 

The other side is... very red, and very hot. There are fewer signs of civilization here than there were on the other side. A strange sort of reddish rock which he recognizes as the one that he was unable to identify in the walls is everywhere here; in the distance he can see lava and... vaguely humanoid pigs?

Near him there are stone paths in the air. The ones that lead to nearby things seem to lead to... other portals?

Wonderful, a word which here means fuck this. He's just gonna try portals at random until he finds another person. 

Is he looking for humans only, or also humanoids? If he's including humanoids here's one: within a castle-y structure, there is an 8-foot-tall bipedal something in glowing purple armor tending to a small patch of wheat.

Humanoid works. Humanoid raises additional questions but it's not like it's more impossible than everything else. 

Q plasters on a professional-grade friendly smile and approaches. "Hi!" 

The being does a double take. (It--they?--are also not making eye contact.) "Oh, um, hi, Quackity!" They--he?--hold out a chocolate chip cookie like a peace offering.

Might have to do with the other person here apparently named Quackity. Might just be that everyone and their sister knows what he looks like. Probably not that second thing, he's almost one hundred percent sure at this point that they're not in Panem. 

He will... accept the chocolate chip cookie peace offering, and not eat it yet. "--this might be weird but where are we." 

"The... cookie outpost? Outside Las Nevadas? It's, um, in the Dream SMP, sort of?" ...Squint. "Did something happen?"

"I don't know of any of the proper nouns you just said. Something presumably happened but fuck if I know what. --and, uh, sorry, but I didn't catch your name." 

"Oh, sorry, um-- Ranboo. I'm Ranboo. You, uh, look a lot like someone I know. ...Fewer scars."

That professional smile again. He is so friendly and polite and pleased to be here. Fuck, he should have taken more caffeine while he was alone. "Ranboo! Nice to meet you. I don't suppose there's any chance you've heard of Panem, or know where the Dream SMP is in relation to there?" 

“Nice..to…meet…you…too…? I— no?” 

Is Ranboo just always that hesitant or is this something Q's doing. --well, either way. "Yeah, okay, fair enough, if I've never heard of your geography you've probably never heard of mine either. Thanks anyway." 

Pause. "Different question, do you happen to know where the nearest place a person could sleep would be." 

"Las Nevadas miiight have a bed? Sorry, I could probably get you one if you'd rather stay here and wait but I don't have one down right now. Or if you are good to go farther I know farther places that definitely have beds?"

He is not making extremely skittish guy buy him a bed. There are limits. He can keep running on stims, it won't kill him, just suck. 

"I can take my chances with Las Nevadas, but thanks for the offer. ...which direction do I go to get to Las Nevadas." 

Point. "It's, uh, past the big sign? Can't miss it. Quackity--uh, the, other Quackity--might ask you for a toll to get in. He doesn't take cookies, either, I tried. Sorry."

(The view from the window.)

...in his defense he is running on fumes and stims. "...right. Awesome. Thanks, man." 

To Las Nevadas. He doesn't have anything to pay a toll with except, well, the obvious, and he'd rather it not come to that, but here's hoping. 

Manning the toll booth is... someone who looks exactly like him.

Well, not exactly. The biggest difference is that he has an ugly-looking scar running from his chin to his eyebrow, cutting through his left eye and leaving it cloudy-white. He's also a bit taller, a bit broader, and he's wearing a starched button-up with suspenders and a neckerchief.

He's leaning, deliberately casual, against the side of the tunnel between Ranboo's cookie outpost and Las Nevadas. He doesn't move when the other Quackity approaches, although his eyes narrow slightly. "Foolish, this isn't funny, man. I know you've been messing with people but you can't pull that sort of shit with me."

Fact: Q is quite pretty, in the way of someone who has a nice face and also separately has a stylist team and is wearing a significant amount of makeup. He looks a little younger than this other Quackity, but not a lot younger; he's thinner, enough that it makes a difference to his face. He has no visible scars. 

Fact: Q is dressed like he recently left a particularly objectifying cocktail party, in sheer red and shiny gold. He is, on top of this, wearing a brown jacket that's much too large for him and doesn't go with anything else he has on. He did not take off his makeup before landing on the Dream SMP. 

Fact: Q has been doing things for the last eighteen hours and was supposed to finally be done and allowed to go to bed almost an hour ago. 

"I'm sorry," he says, and he's not even trying not to sound totally fucking exhausted anymore, "it's not a joke. I don't know either, man." 

"You know what? You're right. You're right, it's not a joke. You can tell because I'm not fucking laughing." He stands up straight, in the middle of the tunnel, blocking the other Quackity's path entirely. He summons, seemingly out of thin air, a pair of blood-covered shears, and then vanishes them again to summon and hold a glowing purple axe. (If the other Quackity is trained in weapons, he'll know that it's a good axe, and also that this Quackity absolutely does not know how to handle it.) "I don't know who the fuck you think you are, coming here dressed as--what? as a, a fucking parody? But it isn't fucking funny or cute or whatever you think it is. Get the fuck out of my country before I give you a scar to match your costume."