Jun 28, 2022 6:18 PM
an ex-illithid in lyingverse
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"Okay!" says Keith. He buys them. She can see his credit card in action.

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This is useful knowledge to have! When the transaction is complete, she kisses him again.

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"Your public display of affection irritates and disgusts me," says the cashier in a bored tone.

"I think you'll feel better when you meet someone who wants to touch your dick!" says Keith brightly, and he and Bird and sheets can go home and sheets can go on the bed.

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As they are putting the sheets on the bed, Bird speculates, "Would that person feel better if I touched his dick?"

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"Well, probably, but it'd make me really upset."

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"Oh!" she says, surprised and perplexed. "Why?"

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"Well, it makes me feel really happy and special that you want to touch my dick and it wouldn't feel very special if you wanted to touch lots of people's dicks."

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"Well, when I first touched your dick I was mostly interested in it because I'd never seen one before, but now I know you and I feel all these pleasant human emotions about you, and I care more about making you happy than about making strangers happy. So I probably won't touch that guy's dick. But I'm a little sad about it because it turns out that making people happy feels really nice and I like doing it. I guess there are lots of ways to make people happy besides touching their dicks."

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"Yeah, most people only touch one person's dick. Or two if they're queer. You could bake people cupcakes or something."

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"Cupcakes?" she says, perking up. "What are those?"

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"They're like cakes, only little! They're sweet."

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"I want to learn how to bake cupcakes!"

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"Well, we can go to the grocery store on my next day off and get cupcake stuff. I think there's usually recipes on boxes of cake mix."

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Happy little bounces.

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"Awww you're so cute!" Kiss.

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Bouncy kisses!!!

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He will tuck them in for the night when sleepy and kiss her goodnight and sleep with his arm over her.

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So much cozier than sleeping in a cave!

 

In the morning, the first thing she says is, "How do I know what time it is?"

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"You look at a clock. Like, I have one over there." He points at a clock. It says it's 7:30. "I think I would have an especially good day at work if you sucked my dick first."

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"Okay!"

She does that, and snuggles him, and then gets her apron and her nametag and makes her way to her Job, where at the earliest opportunity she will ask how much money is in her paycheck.

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It's nine dollars and fifty cents an hour!

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Neat! If she understands the situation correctly, she will have five hundred dollars within a week!

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"Actually a lot of that goes to taxes. We automatically take those out of your paycheck, which you could consider a favor since it makes it less likely you'll surprisingly owe thousands of dollars on tax day, or you could consider it an inconvenience because it means you have less money on hand in the short term, but we do it whether you want us to or not. And then there's the apron money but that's less than taxes."

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"Well, accounting for taxes, how much is it?"

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He gives her a number that makes sense in light of Fractious States tax law.

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