Bimbo or Billionaire: Self-Actualization doesn't make you wear a tight bikini. You are fully clothed in street clothes. They want you to have your dignity, at least until you get mind-controlled to have the compulsion to flash everyone.

The host is still slimy, though, and the carpet is still a shade of pink that raises numerous questions about the sexual interests of heterosexual men. 

The host finishes his opening talk warming up the audience. "It's time to watch Evie become a strong flourishing, and empowered woman! You fucking perverts."

Evie smiles winningly at the audience. She is dressed in her best classy-but-sexy outfit, the outfit that says "I can make everyone envy you at a private dinner at the White House, then suck your brains out through your dick afterward."

She doesn't think she needs much physical improvement-- Mom had already spent hundreds of thousands of dollars of her various ex-husbands' money making her every man's physical ideal. But a fashion refresh can be good anyway! Evie always loves getting a makeover. 

Evie doesn't say anything because she knows that men like quiet women. 

"Let's catch up people who are here for the first time! Behind me are 24 boxes"-- the host gestures widely at a set of 24 hot pink makeup cases-- "each of which has within it a dollar sign or... a symbol of something else. If she picks cash, she goes one notch up the cash column. If she picks something else, then... I guess you people are going to have a good time since you're here... but I really don't get it. You could be specifically watching the show where women become hot, stupid, and unable to say no to sex, and then you decided to watch a different show, on purpose. Why."

"Fire the host!" yells an audience member. A very handsome and oddly murderous-looking man sitting next to him seems to be contemplating something a bit more permanent than firing the host. 

"Whenever she opens a bimbo box, you-- the live studio audience-- will get a choice of four options. You can vote, and whichever option wins, Evie will get from our proprietary Collar of Fate. In the event of a tie, both changes will be applied. And, yes, strategic voting is encouraged. As Bimbo or Billionaire: Self-Actualization is guaranteed self-actualizing, there is absolutely no reason for someone to want to stop playing, so they aren't allowed! Yes, she WILL be walking out of here either a Bimbo or a Billionaire."

Evie isn't sure why she'd want to chicken out part of the way through, anyway. The whole point is getting over her weird block about dating the sort of men she's supposed to date. Maybe if it was trying to get her to do something else...? But why would it? She was raised since she was born to be a trophy wife.

"I'd like to bring everyone's attention to our case girl, Chrissi! Chrissi was the unluckiest candidate in Bimbo or Billionaire? history, getting twelve straight bimbo boxes in a row, all of which were ties and most of which were threeway ties."

Chrissi, a blonde with a face that's both gorgeous and vapid, bounces in excitement about being on the stage.

Oh, wow, Chrissi has breasts. Her breasts bounce. Her breasts bounce in such an interesting and entrancing way. Evie really wants to stare at them. Evie is just going to keep staring at them, and maybe slip her hand under her skirt and--

(It has never occurred to Evie that her attraction to women might be useful for anything except facilitating threesomes.) 

The host sighs. "Can we make Evie immune to Chrissi, please?"

Evie blinks, notices her hand is touching her clit, yanks her hand out of her skirt, and flushes bright red. 

"You people have GOT to stop lying about your sexual orientations on the paperwork."

"But I am straight."

"You people have GOT to stop lying about your sexual orientations to yourselves, and also on the paperwork."

Chrissi's breasts are still extremely interesting but Evie is capable of having thoughts about anything else, such as her imminent ~~makeover~~~. 

"I like how much people like my boobs!" Chrissi says. "My boobs are very important."

"They are, dear," the host says. "Our contestant tonight is Evie MacQueen. Evie, how are you feeling about becoming"-- the host is so unhappy about his life-- "empowered and self-actualized?" 

"I'm looking forward to being the dream girl of the entire audience!" Evie chirps, and then blows a kiss. 

"That's what I like to hear! So without any further ado, let's open the first box."

"15."

"Aaaaand it's Hair! As usual, you have two sets of choices here-- color and style."

"The options for hair color are Redhead, Brunette, Blonde, and Blue. We are pleased to announce that choosing Blue will give her a mild compulsion to make blue her theme color, and also make her able to spin poi."

What. What's poi. Was she supposed to know what poi is. Was that on a flashcard she forgot. 

men like blue hair????

"Our first hair style option is Straight to the Butt. Like it sounds, Straight to the Butt gives her long, straight hair. It never gets tangled, and she will never have to brush it. It's always perfectly soft."

That's so convenient. Want.

"Our second hair style option is Curly Girl, which gives her luscious curls."

Evie is only a little familiar with the Dark Arts of Curly Hair Care, but she's always excited to learn new things about hair!

"Our third hair style option is Prehensile. This hair is both attractive and useful-- she will be able to move it on its own like another set of limbs. Perfect for bondage, self-defense, or when you just have too many things to carry home from shopping."

Wow, she gets superpowers???? That sounds cool. 

"Our fourth option is Perfect Pixie. Evie will have a cute little pixie cut."