Obviously, they throw in one terrible option in every set of four, because they're out of ideas. Men don't like pixie cuts.

she would look so cute in an adorable little pixie cut, it's so stylish It doesn't matter. She's not at Appealing To Straight Women And Gay Men Or Billionaire? When she has a billion dollars, then she can dress however she wants. 

"And we have our first tie of the evening, bimbos and gentlemen! Evie's hair color is Blue, and her style is both Prehensile and Perfect Pixie."

What. 

And then the pink fog rises up from the Collar of Fate and for a few moments Evie feels nothing but peace and warmth and good good good. 

A tendril of her hair perks up and waves, like it's saying hi.

Awww. Cute. It moves on its own. 

She reaches up. Her hair is... short?

There is a certain kind of look Evie's mom disparagingly refers to as man repellent. Brightly colored, thick eyeliner. A dark berry or black lip. Bold prints, especially when they clash, like florals with stripes. Palazzo pants. Balloon sleeves. Anything that involves sequins, glitter, or knitwear. 

Evie-- doesn't love all man repellent, obviously, she has taste-- but there are many outfits she has sighed over in Vogue or at Paris Fashion Week that she knows could never go on her body.

Fashion is art. But Evie doesn't, ever, get to be art, because men don't like art, men like bodycon dresses and a smoky eye.  

You can't get much more man repellent than a pixie. 

She doesn't know what the voters are thinking. It's some kind of humiliation ritual, maybe. They really like humiliating bimbos-- think of that poor woman in season 4 who turned into a cow-- and she shouldn't have expected anything different, really. Self-actualization was just an advertisement. 

She tries to smile at the audience-- if she pleases them more, maybe they'll vote for her to be pretty and pleasing-- but instead her hair covers her face, like she's a middle schooler pretending to be emo because she doesn't want to admit she's anxious. She tries to brush it aside, but it stays put. 

Is her hair just going to be expressing her feelings now??? To everyone??? To men???

"So, Evie, how are you feeling?"

"Thank you for the hairstyle! It's very stylish. I think the contrast will look great if you turn the rest of my body super feminine!" Evie says.

(Her hair droops slightly.)

"You're already feminine enough for me!" the host says. "You're so pretty, I can't imagine what Body or Face would even have to do for you. Pick a box, any box."

"1."

"Ah, bad luck, Evie. It's Lips."

Ugh. Lips is the worst. Evie gets tasteful fillers done every six months, but she'd never go so big that you could tell she had it done. The voters show no such restraint. And even if you somehow manage to escape with normal human lips, Lips is by far the most likely of the physical changes to give you a weird compulsion that makes life very difficult. 

"Our first option is Suction Power. Evie will have very strong jaw muscles. She can suck like a vacuum cleaner and she will literally never get tired. Whenever she puts anything other than food in her mouth-- her fingers, a pen, a straw, a tit, or of course a cock-- Evie will automatically suck on it. No matter how embarrassed she is, she won't be able to stop herself!"

For example. Ugh.

"Our second option is Cherry Lip Gloss. Evie's lips will perpetually be slightly shiny, like she's just put on lip gloss. Her lips will also taste like cherry lip gloss whenever you kiss her."

That's fine. Mildly convenient, even. 

"Our third option is Color Changer. Evie will, at will, be able to change the color of her lips, mimicking the results of applying lipstick. Because she's changing the color of her actual lips, it won't smear or stain, doesn't have to dry, and will never leave a tell-tale mark on your collar. She may change her lips to have any design or pattern she chooses, including ones that would be very difficult to do on actual lips."

Evie would go so far as to say that that was moderately convenient. 

"And finally we have Moisturized. Evie will never have dry or chapped lips again. Her lips will always stay perfectly soft and slightly wet. She will also always produce as much saliva as she needs, no matter how little she's drunk recently. Her blowjobs will be incredibly wet and sloppy."

Evie is happy to give good blowjobs if it doesn't come with a compulsion to suck pens!

"And the winner is.......... Color Changer!"

And a warm pink fuzz fills Evie's mind, soft and gentle and lovely. 

When she emerges, she has a new sense. She knows, without looking, that her lips are their usual light pink, and she knows that she can change it in any color or pattern she likes, as simply as wiggling her fingers. 

Further experimentation shouldn't happen in front of an audience of men she wants to like her. So she changes her lips to be the same color as her present lipstick-- a bright red that's very flattering to her complexion. (She has to resist the urge to make them blue.)

"Congrats, Evie! Ready for your next change?"