And before she knows she's on stage in a tight bikini that reveals exactly how round her stomach is and how flabby her thighs are, wearing the bright pink Collar of Fate that will transform her body and perhaps her mind. 

It's a fascinating machine. Proprietary mind control technology. No one knows how some of it works. It would be more scientifically interesting if it wasn't going to be affecting her. 

She's self-conscious and wants to adjust the bikini so it covers more, but it's so tight that if she adjusts it something would pop out, and everyone in the entire world would be able to see her breasts that were somehow both tiny and saggy. 

She's not modest! She's just very, very insecure. 

The host-- a guy who had what could almost be called charisma, except that it missed the mark and wound up landing on 'slimy'-- finishes his opening talk warming up the audience. “Yes, folks, it’s time to answer the question that is on all of our minds...Is she a... Bimbo or Billionaire!?”

She stares at the carpet. Why is it that color. Who decided to make it that particular, awful, garish shade of pink. Do men actually get off on everything being that pink. Is she going to have to learn some things about male sexuality that she did not want to know. 

"Let's catch up people who are here for the first time! Behind me are 24 boxes"-- the host gestures widely at a set of 24 hot pink makeup cases-- "each of which has within it a dollar sign or... a symbol of something else. If she picks cash, she goes one notch up the cash column. If she picks something else... well, then we're all going to have a good time, aren't we?"

Makeup cases. Why. Male sexuality is horrifying and this is why she's never been kissed.

"Whenever she opens a bimbo box, you-- the live studio audience-- will get a choice of four options. You can vote, and whichever option wins, Leah will get from our proprietary Collar of Fate. In the event of a tie, both changes will be applied. And, yes, strategic voting is encouraged. The first six bimbo boxes that Leah opens are guaranteed to have only physical changes-- although, well, we have been known to cheat on that now and again."

As horrible as it is to contemplate now that she's about to face it, she's researched the first-round mental changes and they're never that bad. A compulsion to put things in your mouth, maybe, or the need to constantly swish your hips back and forth. Mostly the problem is the opportunity cost, since if she's getting a mental change she's not becoming more beautiful. The mental changes in Voice can get nasty, but in the worst case scenario she can just type all her communications. She does that anyway. 

"I'd like to bring everyone's attention to our case girl, Chrissi!"

Chrissi, a blonde with a face that's both gorgeous and vapid, jumps up and down in excitement about being on stage. One of her breasts-- the size of her head, of course-- pops out of her dress, much to the approval of the crowd.

"Chrissi was the unluckiest candidate in Bimbo or Billionaire? history, getting twelve straight bimbo boxes in a row, all of which were ties and most of which were threeway ties."

"I like threeways!" Chrissi says.

"I know you do." The host chuckles. "Out of the kindness of our hearts, we decided to keep her on the show. Or because she has a blowjob addiction. One of the two."

"Can I suck a cock now?" Chrissi looks at the audience. "Can I suck all of their cocks?"

The host chuckles again. "Maybe after the show, Chrissi."

Oh god what did she get herself into

"Our contestant tonight is Dr. Leah Aarons. Leah, how are you feeling about the prospect of giving your patients a different kind of care?"

Charm the audience, charm the audience, charm the audience...

She did not think through the part where succeeding at this show this involves charming men. 

"I'm not that kind of doctor," Leah says. "I'm a psychologist. I study what makes people tick."

"Didn't Freud answer that?" The host winks. "A cigar... is never just a cigar."

Oh god she can't help herself.

"Actually, Freudianism has been disproven by modern psychology. The only place it really appears in the academy is literary criticism. Human beings evolved to be motivated by sex, yes. But inclusive genetic fitness doesn't just come from having as much sex as possible with whomever you can. If we look at primates, our closest relatives, we see drives for status, pairbonding, collecting resources-- not to mention parenting itself and sheer survival, which--"

The host cuts her off. "This might be easy to forget, Leah, but the audience you're in front of tonight isn't your classroom! So, what are you going to use the money for?" 

"Funding a multisite replication of key psychological findings."

"Wow. Sounds nerdy. I hope we'll be able to change your mind by the end of the show!"

No, because her contract was iron-clad. Fucker. 

To attempt to salvage some audience appreciation, she says, "I'm also looking forward to the physical changes! I think it would be nice to have a"-- oh god, spit it out, she can do this-- "hotter body."

The host looks her up and down. "You need it."

Fucker.

"So, without any further ado, let's open the first box."

"Nineteen."

Chrissi, after counting on her fingers a bit, opens box 19. Leah doesn't even know how counting on your fingers would help. 

"Aaaaaaand it looks like you have one single shiny penny! Leah, what do you think?"

"I think it's a good start."

"That's the attitude I like to see!"

Well, that's a good omen, she thinks superstitiously because being aware of cognitive biases doesn't make her less susceptible to them. 

"Twenty-three."