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In Love's name and for Love's sake, I assert that I will employ the Art which is its gift in Love's service alone, rejecting all other usages.
I will spread joy and ease pain. I will fight to preserve what loves and rejoices well in its own way, and I will change no object or creature unless its joy and love, or that of the system of which it is part, are threatened.
To these ends, in the practice of my Art, I will put aside despair for hope, and hatred for love, when it is right to do so-- Until Universe's end.
Y/N
wen ning is the erogamer
+ Show First Post
don't-look-down
"So I'd think you'd need to grind XP, somehow convince it to give you more spells..."
"Spells seem to be a function of trying new things, so it might be worthwhile deliberately... Doing even more new things?"
...is he going to mention he got a new spell for having sex in public? No, no he is not. "That's possible."
don't-look-down
They talk a bit more and then Wen Qing excuses herself to go to her work shift.
He wishes her a good shift.
So, he needs to:
A) try and generate more passive XP (ie post lots of naked photographs on the internet)
B) try more new things to see if he can get more spells to fall out
C) ... Actually attempt to get therapy, even if he would rather chew his own toe nails off.
He heads back home. 'A' is probably the easiest. Yes, he's done it before, so there aren't the benefits of trying new things, but he knows it works and he can do it.
... Maybe he could even take a video.
Quest available: Video Killed The Selfie Star
Take a sexy video of yourself and post it online.
Success: +500 XP, a recurring source of XP, improved relations with ???
Failure: ???
... Well, good to know he's on the right track.
Okay, he can do this. This is a baby step up from taking pictures. The consequences of failure, while vague, are probably not those bad. --And he's not going to fail! Because he can totally do this.
He flops backwards onto his bed. Actually no, he'd have to hold his arm right out to get all of him in frame, that's not going to work. Uhh... He's going to sit on the bed and prop his phone up on the dresser. That'll work. Mostly.
--And if he presses record now he can't wimp out. It's already on, so he may as well not leave a giant awkward pause of him sitting on his bed, staring at his own phone in terror. Okay, first step: clothes off. Sexily. ...he's just going to take them off slowly, and hope his body makes up for any clumsiness. According to the manual, it is an objectively hot body, and maybe he can make it work for him.
He just has to masturbate. On video. For anyone on the entire internet who finds it to see.
...
He actually isn't going to do that! He's going to record this, and then show it to Wei Wuxian to see if it is Internet Worthy. Then maybe he'll post it. He only has to make this something Wei Wuxian would like. Which... isn't a completely non-terrifying audience, but it's at least one that he knows what he would like?
He'd want him to tease himself a little, before he got really started. But not for too long, because if Wei Wuxian doesn't have one thing, it's infinite patience.
He'd want him to use Driving a Manual and Edge Riding on himself, over and over, until he was completely undone. Until he wasn't thinking 'I shouldn't hold back these noises' and those weird gaspy sounds were coming out of his mouth without any of his permission. Just keep doing that until he couldn't stand that anymore, until he couldn't even quite think the-- name of the spell he is deliberately not thinking-- and he comes so hard he's kind of surprised he still has all his bones still inside of him. (It really doesn't feel like it. Most of his muscles are considering going on strike, too.)
Hopefully the come splattered on his stomach is sufficiently Artistic Looking. ...not that Wei Wuxian, in the specific, would probably care that much.
He gives the camera a shy little smile before reaching over to turn it off.
I'd like your opinion on this, if it's good enough to post, if that isn't too much trouble? [please_burn_this_if_you_find_this_01.mp4]
(It's pretty, uh, naked, so maybe wait till you're not in public to watch?)
boy-are-you-gigo
Wen Ning receives a string of fire emojis and then a picture of Wei Wuxian's stomach with his come splattered across it.
I'm glad you liked it?
I'm... Going to take that as 'yes, post it.'
(The problem with uploading videos is it takes time, time enough to really stew in how horrible of an idea this could be.)
The first comment says that Wen Ning's moans are the best sound he has ever heard other than, of course, the Mountain Goats.
The people think I sound like a goat, in a positive way?
...or like a band. That might make more sense.
<3
...This is the dorkiest thing he has probably ever written, but he can't think of anything better.
I better make sure my people stay well fed
boy-are-you-gigo
don't say that the One is going to hear and then hook you up to a milking machine so that for the rest of your life all you're doing is having orgasms to produce come to give everyone superpowers
...
hot tho
...it is, a bit.
I promise to consider less extreme forms of "keeping people fed" before booking myself up to any machines.
a reasonable and proportional amount of milking machines, to make the people who want me attached to one happy
Future him is probably going to appreciate past him booking sessions with many therapists to see if he can find one he could... actually talk to and who would be helpful. Unfortunately, current him would rather go on a tour of maggot based cuisines, and current him is the one who actually has to do this.
...at least the worst case scenario is more like "and then I can say with confidence that I never want to see a therapist again" and less like... dying. Always good when an activity has basically zero risk of death, even if the risk of embarassment is more viscerally terrifying.
+1 NOV for considering the prospect of getting hooked up to a milking machine!
Quest tree available: Fucking Machines
Sometimes, even in the most experienced wizard's life, all their lovers are a bit busy. But there's no reason you can't have as similar a process as possible by yourself... and no reason that you can't share it yourself with those who are less fortunate.
Subquest 1: Research, purchase, and test out a fucking machine. +400 XP.
Subquest 2: ???
Subquest 3: ???. +5 ERO
Subquest 4: ???
Subquest 5: ???
Subquest 6: ???. Mad Inventor perk.
Subquest 7: ???.
Subquest 8: ???.
Subquest 9: ???.
Subquest 10: ???.
...he has better things to prioritise than acquiring a fucking machine, but noted. (Maybe after the Ordeal? He could maybe swing it as a more sensible choice then.)
The next afternoon, Wen Ning has a series of phone calls with therapists.
"I do a holistic practice which is focused on mind-body connection, especially through breathwork, energy healing, and the use of Tarot."