"Of course, man, what's up?"

"I've been--enlightened."

"Does that mean you're finally coming to church with me? Gonna be honest, not reaaaally the best time and place for that, in here, but hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways and all, I--"

"--No, Tommy. Tommy. Look at me. We need power. I've been leading this group sort of, sort of de facto, because I started it, but--I don't have any real power."

"I mean, that's 'cause it's not a democracy, right? People want to feel like they had some say in it, you can't just, come in and start declaring yourself as having power and expect people to listen to you, that's not, that's not how it works. You can't just go around calling yourself Prime Minister, right, you gotta be elected."

"You're saying I'm not the legitimate ruler of the study group."

"No! No, I just mean--y'know, maybe people would listen to you more if you could say, oh, look, you agreed here to do whatever I say. It's like fuckin', terms and conditions, innit."

"And we solve this by--what, having an election?"

"I mean--yeah? Why not, right? Easiest way to get power, just, have everyone agree you have power, I don't see what's so hard about that."

"Famous last words." Deep breath. "No, yeah, okay! You're right, we'll--we'll run an election and it'll be fine."

"You know you're being kind of weird, Wilbur."

"Nahhhh. What do you mean? Elections! It'll be fun!"

"Well." Lean in. "I say we rig 'em."

"Well now you're piquing my interest, Tommy! Now you're speaking my language! And how do we do that, my friend?"

"I mean, no one else is gonna run, right? So you just win by default."

Laugh. "The legitimately elected representative of the British study group. Yeah, fuck it, why not?"

"That's the spirit! Yeahhhhhh! Fuck it!"

And the next day, he stands up and starts the group with an announcement.

“Hello, friends! I have an announcement to make regarding some, some changes to how this group will be run! I will be running for leader of this study group. I, uh— I did not actually think of campaign promises. I promise to continue our grand traditions of meeting every day, finding Tampa unpleasant, and, uh, fuck. Um. Everyone who votes for me can choose one policy of their choice within reason.”

“…Interesting. And what does you being leader actually mean, exactly?”

“It’ll mean, you know, I have more of a say. That, that I have the power here.”

“And you think that’s a good idea?”

“Look how last year went. Anyone could just— leave, if they wanted to, whenever they wanted to. It was chaos. If everyone had agreed to a leadership, a set of policies—”

“And you think you’re the one to be making those calls, huh, Soot? You think you’re the one we want to be our leader?”

“I mean, yeah. I started the group. Is anyone else running?”

It’s intended as a rhetorical question. It is, he realizes as soon as the words leave his mouth, a bad idea. 

“You know what, yeah, as a matter of fact, I am. Vote Alex 2020, baby.”