"You want someone to rot in the dungeon for laughing at you. Take me and let my father go."

"No."

"Okay! But you're going to be in the dungeon FOREVER. You can NEVER leave."

"Yeah, you know, I got that. From all the yelling."

"Lumiere! Drag the old man out!"

This amount of ass-groping is really not necessary and is also confusing from a characterization perspective.

Nie Huaisang throws himself to the ground and dramatically fake-sobs. 

"I'm never going to see him again! And you didn't even give me a chance to say goodbye!"

"Well, I don't give a shit! You're going to rot in there for the rest of time!"

Scene change!

It is time for Wei Wuxian to sing Gaston, the best song in the entire movie, according to Wei Wuxian.

Unfortunately, what everyone failed to account for was the fact that nearly all of Gaston is sung by Lefou (a role currently being played by Lan Wangji). So Wei Wuxian has nothing to do except keep himself entertained. 

At first, he does so by showing off his ability to do backflips and one-handed pushups and winking dramatically at Chu Chu. 

Oh nooooooooo.

(She had no reason to think this would be in a Disney movie! She'd heard they were wholesome!)

And then Wei Wuxian gets an IDEA.

To the dulcet tones of Gaston, he begins to strip down to his underwear.

He's quite good at it, really. Comes of having watched a lot of videos of people stripping, as well as natural grace.

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

His ears are bright pink.

Orion's pretty sure this was not in the film??? He does not think that Chloe's parents would have put it on for their playdate if it were?????

... Presumably this is very off script? Hopefully?

Well, this is getting interesting.

Wei Ying sings "every last inch of me's covered with hair!", looks down at his visibly hairless chest, and shrugs.

What if he sinks into a hole right now. How about that. 

You know what is TOTALLY an appropriate part of Gaston? Twerking on the guy who's playing Lefou. Probably. If Disney had thought of this they totally would have included it.  

Dot. Dot. Dot.

Oh, wow, Wei Ying is pretty. 

Tomonori reminds himself that everyone on stage is acting, and Jiang Cheng and the other boys are not behaving this way because that is how they really are.

He reminds himself of this, but he doesn't really believe it. It seems stupid. Maybe Nie Huaisang is good at acting and the rest are not. That would explain everything and he could go on being afraid of Jiang Cheng, confused by Wei Wuxian, and intimidated by Lan Wangji. He can ask Nie Huaisang after the performance.