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Jan 29, 2022 2:51 AM
the shanghai disasters do Beauty and the Beast
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"You want someone to rot in the dungeon for laughing at you. Take me and let my father go."

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"No."

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"Okay! But you're going to be in the dungeon FOREVER. You can NEVER leave."

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"Yeah, you know, I got that. From all the yelling."

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"Lumiere! Drag the old man out!"

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This amount of ass-groping is really not necessary and is also confusing from a characterization perspective.

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Nie Huaisang throws himself to the ground and dramatically fake-sobs. 

"I'm never going to see him again! And you didn't even give me a chance to say goodbye!"

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"Well, I don't give a shit! You're going to rot in there for the rest of time!"

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Scene change!

It is time for Wei Wuxian to sing Gaston, the best song in the entire movie, according to Wei Wuxian.

Unfortunately, what everyone failed to account for was the fact that nearly all of Gaston is sung by Lefou (a role currently being played by Lan Wangji). So Wei Wuxian has nothing to do except keep himself entertained. 

At first, he does so by showing off his ability to do backflips and one-handed pushups and winking dramatically at Chu Chu. 

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Oh nooooooooo.

(She had no reason to think this would be in a Disney movie! She'd heard they were wholesome!)

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And then Wei Wuxian gets an IDEA.

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To the dulcet tones of Gaston, he begins to strip down to his underwear.

He's quite good at it, really. Comes of having watched a lot of videos of people stripping, as well as natural grace.

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WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

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His ears are bright pink.

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Orion's pretty sure this was not in the film??? He does not think that Chloe's parents would have put it on for their playdate if it were?????

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... Presumably this is very off script? Hopefully?

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Well, this is getting interesting.

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Wei Ying sings "every last inch of me's covered with hair!", looks down at his visibly hairless chest, and shrugs.

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