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Jan 29, 2022 2:13 AM
the shanghai disasters do Beauty and the Beast
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Chu Chu was using her elite sneakery skills to grab a translation sheet off Wen Ning, ideally with no one noticing what was happening, when Wei Wuxian mentioned her by name.

She is going to go hide in a hole now. A hole for non-fluent English speakers who cause theatrical productions.

... She's probably going to pick up some creatively wrong English by the end of this, because Wei Wuxian is not going to be consistent, but at the very least she's probably going to know 'beast' in English?

 

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Before there can be any more bickering Lan Wangji begins to play Belle (adapted for the guqin).

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Nie Huaisang plays Belle in a dress that was very clearly in its former life a hospital curtain. He has a good voice that is, admittedly, much too low for the part, but he makes up for it with the great enthusiasm with which he sings about liking (a) books (b) Prince Charming (c) being somewhere else than the place where you're currently living.

Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji split the part of the villagers.

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Wei Wuxian is playing Gaston, the best part in the entire musical, and he doesn't so much chew the scenery as pulverize it. He says "in this town there's only she/who's as beautiful as me" with the most sincerity. He kisses his almost-nonexistent biceps. 

Due to casting constraints, the part of Lefou and the girls in love with Gaston are both played by Lan Wangji, who is also playing half the villagers, which probably suggests some funny things about sexual orientations in this village or some correct things about the sexual orientation of Lefou. 

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Nie Huaisang can sing SO enthusiastically about WANTING TO BE SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN HERE and everyone thinking you're USELESS and WEIRD.

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...Chu Chu has a favourite character already. (She would deny finding Belle relatable, except for the fact its so obvious that any denial would be ridiculous.) But... books! Being literally anywhere other than where you were because it kind of sucks! Prince Charmings, maybe, also!

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Petition to cast Nie Huaisang in all... Scholomance... musicals...

 

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Masozi is enjoying this a lot! Even though the song also kind of hurts because it feels too real. He will snuggle up against Lan Xichen with his arm still around Wen Ning. 

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Oh good they're singing in English. Orion has been in a room with this movie before and can hum the choruses of a couple songs.

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He reaches out and pets Masozi's fuzz.

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"Bonjour, Belle!"

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"Bonjour, Gaston."

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That's French! If you're going to do that you should have a more thorough content warning. Fortunately Orion has French already.

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He snatches Nie Huaisang's book out of his hand and holds it upside down. "How can you read this? There are no pictures."

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"Everyone has different talents, I guess."

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"Right! You're good at reading and being beautiful, and I'm good at, well, everything."

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"Can you give me my book back?" 

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"No! Because it's time you pay attention to more important things!"

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"Like you?"

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"Yeah! Every girl in town wants to marry me, you know!" He blows a kiss at Chu Chu. "And getting married would be good for you. It's not right for a woman to read. Next thing she's going to start having thoughts."

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"You are positively primeval."

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"Thanks!"

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"Please let me go inside."

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"You can run away but I still know how you feel about me!"

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"You can't even imagine."

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