"If you fuck me you can look at my porn for free? --Not keep it though, I still have to make money."

"--the contents of the pitch is fine, the phrasing is the problem. 'I will give you one unit of arm touching compliments in return for one unit of ravishing.'"

"Oh, should I skip ahead to the arm touching compliments?" He touches Jing Yi's arm. "You have a very nice smile."

Jing Yi is trying very hard not completely lose it, and is only barely succeeding. "I'd say it was a bit late now, but then you'd move your hand."

"I could move it to your dick. Or maybe be more subtle and move it to your thigh."

"Technically these are options available to you!" How has he met someone more forward than himself? "...if you're related to Jin Zixun, you legally have to tell me."

"We would be legally permitted to get married, if one of us was a girl and I was an idiot."

"If you're lying, you are going to be the one explaining it Jin Zixun." Which makes it sound like he has agreed. Which he hasn't. Definitely. Just a communication glitch. Happens to everyone.

"Deal." Jiang Cheng is more likely to yell at him about this anyway.

... Okay, so he has accidentally agreed to this. ... There are definitely worse things he's accidentally agreed to. And Huaisang is cute, and no one should leave the Scholomance un-deflowered. He holds a hand our to shake. "Deal."

"Is that how you seal fucking deals? I'm pretty sure you seal it with a kiss."

"And here I thought you were planning to be unromantic and mercenary about it "

"Oh, I'm not mercenary. If I were being mercenary I would be trying to get you to pay me."

"You are robbing yourself of selling your virginity on the open market."

"Do you think I would get a good price for it?"

"Mmm, you're definitely pretty enough, but the price doesn't spike till close to graduation time, so if you're not willing to wait, it might not be worth it. -- I thought about it, but didn't bother."

"Wait, why would you want a virgin at graduation? Aren't there enough already?"

"Well, if you had somehow failed to have sex before you were about to face the hall-- demand spikes in general. And for some reason, some of these people are picky about their partners being virgins? I don't get it, but it's a thing."

"I guess there's something good about showing your partner the wide world of sexuality. You specifically should be very convinced of the merits of this."

More stifled laughter. He is so incredibly forward and determined, isn't he? "It has its charms, yes."

"I am very innocent and need to be shown everything. Especially those portions of everything which involve a dick being in my mouth. Or tying people up. Or tying people up with their dick in my mouth."

"But not so innocent that you don't know what those are. But unfortunately for those last two things: Scholomance."

"You have Jin Zixun's wards, I'm pretty sure it'll be fine."

"Mhhm." (As the Americans would say, 'doubt dot png'.)

"I could have scissors in my hands the whole time! You can also do fun things with scissors, I am informed. Not that I have any personal experience with this because I am the most innocent of virgins."