That's alright. (Anakin confirms what her schedule is and where she'll be.)

And Elesse shows up.

Anakin's still finishing up talking to students - two had wanted to ask her questions about an essay coming up next week, one had needed to ask for an extension - and then needed some reassuring words and an offer to sit down over lunch tomorrow - there'd been the usual friendly chatter -

(Elesse has been getting a lot of questioning looks from the students as they pass, but most people are in a bit of a rush so there hasn't been much more than some distracted greetings.)

The schedule she gave Elesse actually took this into account, but - it's still a good few minutes before she's done and walking the last student out with a small smile.

The student - who'd tripped and dropped her bag as Anakin had been originally turning to leave - is chattering a bit flusteredly - "Thank you so much, Professor Vendar, I don't know why I've been so clumsy lately - "

"It's fine, Tarye," Anakin says, "Though if it's getting bad you might want to talk to the school nurse."

The girl shrugs, glancing away, then sees Elesse - and Anakin turns, faltering a teensy bit, though still smiling, and says - "Ah, Elesse. Sorry the time I gave you ended up early."

(The girl looks awkward and mutters something about meeting her ride as she slips off.)

(Anakin - feels awkward, too.)

"It's quite all right," she says, and smiles just a bit. "Professor."

A bit of tension drains out of her.

"Thanks." A pause, and then: "My office is open, or - there's some gardens on grounds nearby. For - talking. And we can get food on the way, if you haven't eaten yet..."

"That sounds nice."

Her answering smile is almost shy.

There's mostly things in the genre of 'cafe' right nearby, which is good for getting something quick and portable to take to a little maze of walled gardens behind the row of class buildings (Anakin, of course, doesn't get anything). She leads Elesse to a quieter square, one she's very sure there's no one able to hear into, and sits on a bench, looking - awkward, again.

"You said you'd - want to talk," she starts, hesitantly.

"Yes. It's- been some time since we've done that, even before. And for that I must apologize. I failed you, Anakin."

She looks down. "A - lot of people failed, in a lot of ways. I did, too, and - "

"I don't blame you, anymore, but... Yeah. There was a lot that I needed back then and - didn't have a way I knew how to get."

"Thank you. For - talking to me again. And for apologizing."

"It is the least I can do."

"I'm sorry about the way things ended."

"And that - I wasn't better at asking for help."

"If there is anything you think would be helpful for you to say to my face, I am willing to listen."

She hums.

"There's an extent to which it's - very long past, to me? I've had decades to come to peace with things. There's... An extent to which - some of the things around you - no longer have the same closure they did?"

"If only because - my feelings about a thing are - different, when it's at all possible for - amends to be made, or for people to be hurt by - anything ongoing."

"But..."

She closes her eyes.

"I - "

"I don't know a lot of - your reasoning, or your - view on things. I didn't learn it before you died, or if I did I forgot, and... The information - vanished, by the time I was capable of looking. And there's parts of what has happened that I've definitely forgotten, which I made peace with as - specifically a 'I cannot know for sure what happened,' but - some of them you would know."

"So it's less - things to say, and more questions."

"I will answer as I am able."

She nods.

"...I think the easiest for - factual parts - is... I don't remember what we argued about before you died, at all, or - even many of the events leading up. I know I left Coruscant, and - there's blurs of talking to you, then - just the fight. Nothing either of us said, or how the fight started."

"That - bothers me, sometimes."

"Mm. Both of us, I think, were under a great deal of stress, and not well prepared to bridge the gap that had grown between us. You were... snappish and dissociated by turns, and I was impatient, wishing for answers about what occurred as I received further word about the deaths of other Jedi across the galaxy. Then the Chancellor's broadcast caught up to us. He said that Mace Windu and the other members of the Council who were on Coruscant had attacked him."

"I asked if that were true. You said yes, that he was the Sith Lord. I asked why you hadn't joined the attack. You said that I wasn't there, I couldn't understand. But you were, I countered, and had never shied from facing evil before. We were both- agitated, by that point, defensive and unwilling to trust that the other was safe to be around. Then Palpatine got to the part where he declared himself Emperor and one of us flinched the wrong way."

"I don't recall who drew their saber first, I truly don't."

"...Oh."

"That would have upset me, yes."

"Questions like that are also things I know how to answer, now, at least."

"I am glad that you were able to grow in that way."

She shrugs. "It feels less like growing, and more like... Gaining control."

"I knew the answer to those questions, back then -  at least I believe I did. There's..."

"I made a lot of mistakes. Some small, some major, many catastrophic. I should have acted differently."

"The thing is, I knew I should have acted differently, and I wanted to, leading up to and during every one of those decisions."

"And if I could have, I would have."

"I couldn't answer those questions, then, or I would have. I didn't have - the skills, the ability, the information, the support I needed. And there was no giving me those things - if those who wanted anything good for me could have given me it, they would have."

"If I've grown, it's in my power over my life, and my ability to shape my habits, my mind, and my world such that I can do the things I want, that I know already I should do."

"Many of my mistakes, especially as Vader, have been from wanting the wrong things, but - I often didn't want to want those things, either, if that makes sense, though I was much more thoroughly at fault for what happened as Vader, rather than - simply culpable."

"Can I hug you, Anakin?"

"...Yeah."

She slides into 'embodied.'

Hug.

Hug! 

Her body had been tucked away while it was still feeling some very pleasant things, and her emotions as a ghost don't have much staying power, so - 

Anakin's actually radiating contentment, not so much sadness, as she leans her cheek against Elesse's shoulder, sighing.

(She is not going to be the one to let go.)

Yeah. This is nice.

Very good snuggle.

"I - felt I had more questions, though I don't actually know for sure I do... They're questions I would've had when younger, though - "

Sudden wash of awkwardness.

"There are things that - uniquely hurt me, and - I do think I want you to know about them, and about all the good things that've happened in - well, my time as a ghost, but I'm not sure how much Maz told you? About - everything, really."