:It's Mhalir's money, really, and I'm sure he'd want you to have it. But - yeah, I don't think Velgarth can afford many Golarion magic items. Maybe you can trade us diamonds.:

:Maybe: 

And he squeezes her hand, and they can continue about their pleasant day in Absalom together. It's a much-appreciation distraction. 

It is!! She feels a lot better by the end of it. More solid, more like maybe any of the things they're trying will work, more like she knows what she'll say when she apologizes to Mhalir.

Ma'ar Gates them back himself at the end of the day, since he knows the way now, and kisses Carissa goodbye and then excuses himself to check in with Leareth again. 

They don't have any further updates from Mhalir; none were expected, their best-estimated arrival time from the other Golarion isn't until tomorrow morning. 

Leareth has a few more thoughts and he discusses them with Ma'ar, and once they've covered all this, he asks Ma'ar to stay in his office a little longer. 

And Mindspeaks Queen Carissa. :Ma'ar is back - do you think you could talk with him now?:

:Sure.: 

And she heads over. "How is she doing? We've been - worrying about her -"

"We had a very good time in Absalom! ...I think. I - have also been worried about her, although...less about how she is taking - everything about Hell, and more..." He trails off. Shakes his head. "I have no idea what." 

"I really ought to be qualified to guess but I think I need...more than that, to go off?"

"- Sorry, I know, that was very unhelpful." 

Ma'ar closes his eyes, frowning. 

"...I think I first felt - confused and worried that way - when I told her I had missed her, and then she hesitated for a very long time before answering, and - I am not even sure, just, it felt as though there was something I was not understanding? And I tried to ask her what was wrong, and she said..." Another pause. "That - she did not want to screw it up?" 

"To screw up the war? Or - the relationship - what is your relationship -"

Ma'ar's expression is that of someone who has no idea how to answer her question! 

"I think that she meant our relationship," which is why he has no idea what to do about it, "and I...am not sure?" What are relationships anyway. "- She tried very hard to - persuade me that there was a better way to go, in the war with Urtho - and then to comfort me when I was scared and overwhelmed... And then we started sleeping together and it was - very good...?" 

"What kind of advice do people in Predain give girls, about that sort of - I guess you weren't really there as a teenager -"

"No, and - I mean, you must know where I grew up, the clan advice would hardly have been applicable. And then I was at Urtho's Tower and - not paying any attention to that topic...and then in Predain I had even more higher priorities..."

Ma'ar grimaces. "- In short, I feel...very unprepared for this..." 

"I think you're doing fine. So, in Cheliax, the main thing you tell girls is that no one is going to love them. That people might - get infatuated, say lots of nice things, be emotionally supportive and kind and adoring and generous - because sex brings out those traits in people - but no one is going to love you and it's important not to get confused. And it's important not to catch feelings back. And it's especially important not to - 

- so in most contexts if someone spent lots of time listening to you and being nice to you and helping you, that'd be a lot of information about their general - how much they value you and how much you can count on them, right? But if you're a pretty girl that's not true, because people will do those things because they want to sleep with you, and it is fine to take them up on that but it's dumb to - start imagining that people being highly motivated to sleep with you means that you have allies, right -"

....Ma'ar listens, and nods, and then stares into the distance, and eventually goes back to looking very confused. 

"...But - I do want to be her ally? That is completely separate from whether I want to sleep with her!"

"Yes, I figured. But - she is interpreting all of the evidence about whether you want to be her ally through this lens, and all of it is probably adequately explained by you having a really nice time in bed with her, and she has specifically been warned that there's a very common human failure mode where you start sleeping with someone and then decide that their behavior indicates they want to be allies, and so she is trying not to make that error, or related errors like concluding you respect her or value her or aren't likely to get tired of her. And probably this wasn't very hard for her at first, we're pretty good at it, but now she's lost everything else and feels very vulnerable and alone and you're there to hug her and spend time with her so it's probably an awful lot of work maintaining a state of no emotional investment in you caring about her at all."

"....Oh." 

"That - you are making it sound incredibly exhausting to be her, right now."

After another hesitation:

"I - if it helps I am going to continue wanting to be her ally even if for some mysterious reason I stop wanting to sleep with her? Which...seems unlikely, since - for me at least - I think much of why I want to is - because she is my ally and having allies is so precious...? Is - there anything I can do to help her - see this?"

"I ...think she'll believe you if you tell her? She must've noticed Mhalir - doesn't lie to people about things like that..."

"Right." 

Ma'ar doesn't seem any more relaxed, though; if anything, the tension in his shoulders is more than before. 

"But yeah, I think it's exhausting to be her right now. And I think she probably expects that - it being exhausting to be her - is not very attractive, and therefore not a good thing to bring to your attention. Or if it is attractive it's attractive to people who like vulnerability and you really, really don't want to attract those -"

Ma'ar looks confused again. "I - cannot tell if I like vulnerability? I suppose I...maybe like it when a person who is, in general, very competent, nonetheless is vulnerable with me in particular - is that the same as the bad thing...?" 

"You're fine. You're very, very nice, and none of the rules are about how to not get hurt by people who just won't hurt you because they're very very nice - uh, if someone prefers girls who seem vulnerable, usually it'd be because they aren't likely to know to object to bad treatment, or because they will be particularly cooperative on account of not having alternatives - I think most people prefer that their partners feel safe with them and feel able to let down their guard and things. And she'd enjoy, like, being tied up, using magic to hold her still, that kind of thing, that's not the problem either."

"Oh."

(Ma'ar has not asked for nearly as much of things he would enjoy in the category of 'tying Carissa up' or using magic to hold her still, because he wasn't sure how to ask about whether she would enjoy it in a way that didn't push her to say yes, and now he isn't sure how to feel about that.) 

"- Caring about people is..." and he trails off, and isn't at all sure what the word is that he means, "...terrrifying?"

"...I guess it is. I - took a god telling me, to my face, to love Leareth, and trust him to love me back. I assume it's - much harder the normal way."

Ma'ar looks down at the floor, and says nothing.