Leareth has been sitting quietly, listening. 

:....I think his life has been very hard: he sends privately to Carissa, after watching for a few moments. :I - do not remember it at all - but I do know from reading my records that I did not have any strong attachments to people even in the century afterward - I suspect I did not know how to do that. -:

"She doesn't - need you to love her. She would benefit from knowing that you intend to keep being her ally, but - she doesn't need feelings from you, that's the one advantage of the whole exhausting thing she's trying to do, you don't need to have it all figured out -"

"- That seems unfair to her? That - she would need to do an exhausting thing because I cannot figure out my end of it?" 

"I mean, if she would rather catch feelings and take her chances that eventually you do too, she could do that, and if she would rather call it off, she could do that, and it's just that she will prefer to both of those things that she - stay mindful and have a nice thing and not assume that she'll have it forever or that it looks like anything in particular on your end. I - had relationships, before I married Leareth, it was pretty important to me to have a way to not sleep alone occasionally and it was worth spending some time reminding myself that I didn't know how they felt about me and - didn't need to -"

"...I am not sure what you mean by 'catch feelings'? How - would I tell, if I have -?"

"I mean starting to - care a lot about the relationship, independent of the usefulness of the person as an ally or a way to spend time, wanting them to want you, wanting them to keep wanting you in the future, imagining having nice things together, imagining that they love you unconditionally and will be with you no matter how hard things get, not necessarily all of those things but those are all - signs, I guess -"

Ma'ar is giving her the expression of someone who has NO IDEA how to assess whether he feels any of those things. 

Shrug. "Leareth might be better at describing what it's like for people who, ah, are you."

Leareth considers the question for a minute or so. 

"- Would you want to - see her, or do helpful things for her, or share your resources with her generally to improve her life, even if she were for some reason no longer useful to your plans at all and never would be?" 

"...Yes? I think so?" 

"That sounds like you have feelings for her, then." 

:- I think he loves her: Leareth adds privately to Carissa. :But - I am not sure he has any useful framework for thinking about this: 

"I think - you being here is very good for her. And what you've got is - more than enough to be getting on with? Whether or not it's - everything you two will eventually want to have."

Ma'ar seems a little relieved, but still tense and worried. "Right. I - am glad, that I can help by being here." 

"Do you want a hug?"

"- Yes - maybe..." But he tenses up slightly more. 

:I predict it would help, and - also that he has more flinches around being touched than I do now: 

So she holds her arms out awkwardly and waits for him to do something.

Ma'ar hesitates, and then stands up and steps toward her and lets her hug him. 

Her Ma'ar does not have much touch-specific trauma and she's so concerned about whatever happened after that in the normal timeline. 

She gives him a hug and then lets go. "Thank you for coming here. And for caring about her. I think it's good for her."

He nods. "I will do my best. Thank you for your advice."

"Of course."

And Ma'ar nods to Leareth and then ducks out of the room. 

Leareth shuts the door. 

"...What do you think." 

"I think they're both going to keep themselves up unnecessarily but - he's nice. It's not hard to not hurt people if you're nice."

"...Huh. Is nice the– I am not sure 'nice' is at all the word I would choose to describe myself."