"Now I can't tell if you're saying that about me or you. I, uh, promise I haven't slept with anyone else?"

"I don't care if you've slept with anyone else! And I don't think it's unreasonable of you to care about it, but it's a - hard thing to get, right, someone who won't sleep with other people, and until recently I was a prisoner so it was an easy thing to get, and now I'm not, and - I hadn't realized it was a major feature for you such that that change was an important one."

"- Oh. I, uh, I...hadn't really been thinking of it that way. That you were, er, a prisoner and that..." He rubs his face with both hands. "That - makes me sound pretty terrible, actually. I'm really sorry. If you felt...stuck."

" - I don't think you did anything wrong." She feels like she's communicating something badly but she's not sure what. "... I guess I was, uh, being very careful? Because I couldn't afford to cause drama or be annoying? But that's not something you did, that's just, you know, the situation. I wasn't - scared of you, or expecting you'd be mean to me, or anything, just tracking who held the cards in the normal kind of way, while having unusually few cards."

Calib still seems confused, and pretty unsettled by this idea. "Right. Okay. But - you're unhappy about being exclusive in general? I...guess that's up to you, I just - it's an adjustment, is all." He looks so flustered. "I didn't think about it at all and that was probably stupid of me."

"I didn't think about it either but, uh, where I'm from if you haven't thought about it that means you are mostly not expecting it? Is it the other way around, here?"

He looks down at his hands, turning even redder. "I - don't know really if 'here' is Leareth's staff. They're pretty, er, worldly. I'm - from a small town, where...yeah, no one really talked about it but people didn't..." He trails off, apparently too embarrassed to even finish the sentence.

"In a lot of places people don't want their girl sleeping around because if she gets pregnant they'll be expected to be involved and they'd want to be sure the kid is theirs."

"Mmm. I don't think people here really have to worry about that, given, lots of Healers... And I'm guessing you don't either." He picks at his nails. 

"No. I was just trying to - cover ground on why people think things? A lot of people also prefer that their girl not have sex with anyone else because then she's a slut, which makes her less valuable and less of an achievement to be sleeping with?"

Blink blink blink. "I - it'd be disrespectful to think of you that way? I don't want to...undervalue you and, uh, the things that are really neat about you, which - don't have anything to do with that." 

Carissa seems confused, again. She tries to forge forwards. "And some people like feeling - ownership, of someone, and part of that is them not being allowed to have sex with other people?"

"That also seems disrespectful! You're - your own person..." He trails off. "Gah. I - might've been thinking about it a bit that way, though. I'm really sorry." He seems to feel very guilty and uncomfortable about noticing this. 

" - I mean, I don't think there's anything - bad about that - I don't think you owe me an apology - you should get to pursue the things you want!"

That, at least, seems to reassure him a little. He nods. "I - like you a lot. I'm not mad. I - I am sort of upset but I don't want to be or, uh, think I have a right to be, or anything. I don't want to be controlling, I'm not - it wouldn't be right or fair to you even if I could." He shrugs, helplessly. "I'm sorry, I - can go talk about my feelings with someone else, it's - not your duty to help me feel better, either." 

"I like you, so I want to make you feel better. I'm worried I'm very bad at it, because - because I just don't think that the things you don't want to be are bad things to be? But I guess even if they're not bad things to be you can not want to be them. Just. If you thought about it and you were like 'yes, actually, I like having ownership of people to the extent that you, being my girlfriend, are for me and mustn't have sex with anyone else', I wouldn't feel disrespected, or anything.... I could imagine feeling disrespected but not by you wanting things!"

"...I think part of me might want that but I - don't want to want it, you know? I think I - would judge my friend for wanting it..." He grimaces. "Which I don't know how I feel about either! Maybe I'm being too judgy! ...You know, my brother told me once that relationships were complicated and confusing, and I never got it until now." 

Hug?

Calib would like a hug! He holds her and strokes her hair. 

"...Do you, er." He clears his throat. "I feel really dumb even, uh, asking, or having feelings about this, but - do you fancy Leareth that way? He, uh. Sometimes he looks at you like..." Calib trails off. "And you're, uh, married, in some other world. Apparently. It's so stupid to be jealous about that but I think maybe I'm just an idiot that way." 

Snuggle. "It's really weird, that we're - married, in another world. I don't know what to think about it. I hadn't mostly -

- it always feels like he's testing me. And even if I pass, it's - you have to be careful, when someone's testing you. I think - in that other world - I wonder if somehow I end up not feeling like he's testing me anymore.

I don't know if that answers your question."

"He's pretty intimidating," Calib agrees, not that he's sure this is what Carissa is trying to convey, but it's the part he understands. 

Hug. "I don't think he's likely to solicit me, I think he finds it more his thing to - drop in occasionally and be satisfied about things."

"Mmm." He leans against her shoulder, having apparently run out of things to say. 

Well, saying things doesn't seem to have improved anything at all, so she'll give up on it too.

Then they can do things that aren't talking for a while.