"...what?"

"I don't have a counterargument is what."

"...yay, I win?"

He leans against Haru and sighs. "Yes. You do." He guesses.

"...I don't want to do heinous shit again. Ever, ever again. And I don't, don't, don't know that I—won't. I, I don't know how I'd tell. When I had freedom to just do what I wanted, that was what I chose to do. So how can I—possibly—how can I possibly trust my own ability to, to ever make a decision again. If those are the kinds of decisions I make?"

Pet pet. "You should maybe reconsider therapy, I hear that's the kind of thing they do. I can't give it a personal vouch because I have a therapy resistant personality but maybe you don't."

"What's a therapy-resistant personality."

"I spend so much time doing my own maintenance work that I always felt like I was ten steps ahead and just walking a stranger through my most personal thoughts so she could say something I already thought of, implemented, and built on - or else rejected."

"Your own maintenance work?"

"I mentioned 'notebooking'? Or maybe I just kept saying 'writing my diary' but that's not actually what I call it in my head."

"The... thing where you write down feelings and stare at them?"

"Yeah, that. I just do it myself instead of involving a therapist."

"How does writing feelings down help with being able to trust your decisions."

"I have no reason to think it'd work for you, I've never met anyone else it worked for like it does for me. But the way it works for me is that - I'm taking the time pressure off myself? I'm gaming out whatever I expect to run into and anything else that comes to mind so I can come to an endorsed conclusion before it's an emergency?"

"Gaming out, like, you... start thinking about possible things to do or that could happen and, or?"

"Yeah. Like, what resources do I have, and what are my underlying objectives so I don't get distracted by, like, sidequests."

"And that... works?"

"I think you called the results 'superhuman'?"

"Huh?"

"- like, before I met you, I was like, okay I need to not creep on this guy who is definitely going to be very attractive, what's my plan for that, and I did not show up to introduce myself till I was satisfied with how that looked on paper?"

Blink blink. "You—managed to—huh. That's. Impressive?" How the fuck does writing feelings down and staring at them make one able to not notice hot men.

"Again, your mileage may vary, but it's worked for me this long."

"So... I mean... You just write? And that helps? —I'm sorry, I'm coming off so dense, just."

"Yeah. I'd offer to show you but like, instead I will not do that."

"...ouch?"