:Thank you: Yfandes seems reassured. :Van, you're – I can see where you're coming from, and it's not...: Try again. :If you had the same feelings behind, oh, questioning Aber's goals as the dean of Healers', I wouldn't be upset:

Pause. 

:And I said to you once: she sends slowly, :that I think the gods played a damned dirty trick on the both of us, in - the circumstances of your Choosing. That might've been mostly a figure of speech but it - wasn't - only that. I don't think life has been very fair to you: 

She stops again. :...I'm stuck? I can have that thought, but for some reason I still can't think about - Leareth and gods: 

Vanyel? prompts Bella.

Vanyel nods.

"Speaking of math," he says, slowly and carefully, "there was something interesting that Bella said to me. She said, a god can't make two and two make five. Maybe a god could do a trick, so that you were counting your objects and it looked like you'd gotten two and two and now there were five. Or threaten you into saying so, or - alter your mind directly so it feels true." He closes his eyes, breathes in and out. "But not change the fact of the matter, which is a fact about math, not about gods. Does that seem true to you?" 

:Y...es?: Yfandes sends, uncertain at first. :...Yes. I think that has to be true:

Nod. "I think so too. Then, Bella said that ethics is like math. The gods can change the choices available to us. Maybe even the thoughts we're able to think. But they can't change the fact of the matter that it's bad when people suffer. So if that's - a true fact about ethics - then it's still true when a god is responsible." 

He looks away from Yfandes. "And I agree with her. But I want to know what you think." 

Yfandes freezes. (For a brief moment, as seen by Bella's subtle arts, the entire structure of her mind locks up.) 

Bella hesitates a moment. Adds a little bit to the fog-fluff.

It's still hard to think about. It's so hard. 

:You're trying to figure out what's true: she sends. That much she can say. :And - you want to do the right thing, here: Also, something she knows is true. :And I wish–:

But she can't. She can't wish for, for the– the sentence that won't even complete itself in her head. Still, she can stay for a time with the stem of that thought held in her mind, wrong-bad-no, but the source of that instinctive flinch is buried deep and its cries only reach her softly. 

Find the angle that isn't blocked. :If there were a story, about two people in a different world, and I were reading it, I would - want the character who can't think about the important thing, to solve that problem. Because - otherwise - the ending is worse: She closes her eyes. :And in that story - if that character said - that ethics is like math, and even gods can't change the fact of the matter - then - I wouldn't call them the villain: 

The thing that worked with Sayshen was -

And in reality, you, Yfandes, think -

Yfandes doesn't answer in Mindspeech, she can't answer, but she does try to hold up what she's thinking and not quite able to articulate for Bella and Vanyel to see. 

In reality, Yfandes thinks that–

–that Vanyel is her Chosen and she made a promise to him; whatever we do, we do it together; and a Yfandes is a pattern that can't walk away;

–that Vanyel looks at Leareth, an immortal (wrong-bad-no) mage who looks at the gods' work and finds it wanting, and her Chosen wants to think (wrong-bad-NO) about whether he's right;

–that Vanyel, her Chosen, hers, agrees at the very least that the gods never had a monopoly on the meaning of right and wrong;

(WRONG-BAD-NO)

But the scream is muffled, barely tolerable, and she can just. keep. staring. at that awful desperate contradiction, because Vanyel needs her and she can't but that doesn't matter, failing him is unacceptable, so she's going to keep asking herself the same stupid goddamned question over and over and over–

...

Until the answer starts to change. 

Bella relaxes, when it starts splintering. Keeps an eye on the fog to make sure it falls away on its own and doesn't need her help.

(It does.) 

All right, that was exhausting and Yfandes isn't sure what just happened except that it - probably isn't really supposed to be a thing Companions can do. 

:Vanyel, I think that Bella says some absurdly wise things sometimes: she sends, shakily. :And you have a good goddamned point, and I'm sorry I've been so insufferable about it: 

She looks over at Bella. :I hope I'm not about to land in a bucket of shit with Taver over this. That being said, even if I do, it's worth it and thank you: 

I would really prefer it if any gods getting angry at me for jailbreaking their Companions were postponed till I have told my friends where I am and I think I'm going to try to work much much faster on that for the next while, maybe tell Healer's they can have me for half an hour a day and that's it.

:I think I can avoid Taver for a while before he gets suspicious: Yfandes tosses her head. :Though – I'm not sure I would worry about gods even if he is upset. Honestly I'm not sure they've interacted with the Companions at all since the Founding. It's not clear to me that what just happened is detectable to them; if they do have any way of keeping an eye on us, it'd be through the Web, and this certainly didn't set off any Web-alarms: 

That is good but I thought I was doing okay last time too.

:That's a valid point: Yfandes lowers her head to the grass again. :I'll make sure the message gets passed on to Healers'. And, thank you for helping anyway, even though you must've been worried about the risk...: 

As possible reasons to court divine wrath go, 'there was mind control RIGHT THERE' is definitely the most, uh, characteristic.

"I'm," Vanyel swallows hard, "also pretty scared of, er, divine wrath, right now. ...Um and possibly Savil's wrath because I think I completely forgot about at least two commitments this afternoon. But - it's all right." He slides over and hugs Yfandes. "Thank you. Sorry for being an obnoxious emergency at you again." 

If you want me to tell Savil it was an emergency I can.

On the one hand Vanyel kind of hates it when other people go explain things about him behind his back, but on the other hand, Savil is going to grill him about it otherwise, and Bella has an excellent poker face and his...isn't perfectly reliable. "Um, that sounds good, if you can...not hint anything about what happened or that it had to do with Yfandes."  

I can try. I'm imperfect at not hinting - I'm pretty sure the other Companion I talked to guessed who my hypothetical Herald was - but I can do my best.

Vanyel carefully doesn't try to guess who said Companion might have been. "Thank you." He slumps back against Yfandes. "I'm so tired. I should go to bed earl– oh gods I was going to see Tran tonight. I should probably cancel, that sounds dreadful right now." Frown. "Um, I feel kind of bad about, er, maybe getting you in trouble. Is there any way I can help with the talking-to-your-friends project?" 

I... don't think so, it'll take longer to bring you up to speed than to finish the project and it's too cutting edge to have much low level work. Sorry.

"It's fine. Good luck." Vanyel thinks about getting up, decides against it. "Maybe 'Fandes and I will just sit here for a while." 

I wouldn't blame you a bit, she assures them, getting up.

Knock knock on Savil's shields, as she heads back to the relay room.