Here - let me know if you want to focus on anything different - She bounces what she sees.

Sayshen looks at her own mind for a long time, thoughts bubbling up without quite becoming words. 

I see what you mean. What about...? She gestures mentally at 'half' of the structure in particular. 

Bella concentrates on that half.

Sayshen looks.

I think

(pause for a bit, find another route) 

If a hypothetical Herald wanted to - be able to talk to his hypothetical Companion

about - things that a hypothetical person - who might decide to be a Companion but wasn't yet - might think were reasonable objections - to how things are set up 

If they cou

(Bounce, work around it again) 

Then - hypothetically - I think the only way - would be t

Saysen still can't finish the thought, but she manages a flaily mental gesture at part of her own mind. 

And what is there, if Bella looks real close -

The sense of an unbreakable line, bright and blazing and unimaginable to cross. 

- my path stands clear - in every thought and deed - restore and keep the peace - light never to fade -

Can I muffle that a bit more than it is already -

Wordless agreement.

Deep-pile fuzz over it, so its shape can still be identified but only if she thinks about it.

Sayshen...is finding it a little hard to think in general, now, but only a little. Do you have particular questions for me? I - can probably answer them better, like this. 

Hypothetically, a Companion and their Herald are talking about how the gods are... performing, in general.

Sayshen nods. Follows that thread, notes the places where it runs into fuzz, backs off from them before getting cut off. 

I think - that would be something - where - only certain conclusions - feel allowed

Yeah. What happens if the Herald doesn't reach those conclusions?

Then they wou

(panic, tamped down, steered away from) 

That - goes toward repudiation 

but 

I don't think - the hypothetical Companion - would want it to? 

that's not - what a Companion is for

Repudiation ever happens, doesn't it?

It has. (This is easier to think about, Sayshen can repeat it rote from the Heraldic textbooks her Chosen studied). A Herald four hundred years was repudiated after jealously murdering a man he caught in bed with his lover. A Herald six hundred years was repudiated for using his mind-gifts to seduce a woman and concealing it from his Companion. 

There are - a few others. But - the same kind of things? Things that - a reasonable hypothetical person - who might become a Companion but isn't yet - would think were beyond the pale.

But a reasonable hypothetical person - who isn't me - who isn't a Companion yet - might think it was fine

to ask - certain questions - about the gods

? 

The wordless question hangs in Sayshen's mind. She can't answer it; she can't go there, it's too hard to find a direction that doesn't lead to aimless dead ends. 

But the actual Companion who is you thinks -

What Sayshen thinks is: 

Seldasen wrote that curiosity is admirable

so wh

who d

(No more working with the wind, Sayshen is pretty sure she knows who the hypothetical people are and it's – bad – and she has to try harder now, to help, and the wind is weaker, and maybe she doesn't have to let it dissolve those thoughts, her thoughts, into dreams and smoke, and, and–)

it's - not wrong - not a sin - to ask questions

(She knows that, she believes it, Seldasen wrote it and he was a Herald) 

I - don't think it's right

to repudiate your Chosen - for something that isn't - even - wrong 

(Even through the fuzz, Bella will be able to notice the building strain around a very particular part of the corner of Sayshen's mind that isn't human)

so it sh

but wh

did nobody th

It's not f

STOP

WHY

(Sayshen kicks at nothing in particular, she's angry now, all she's trying to do is answer one. stupid. question. because it's important. and she CAN'T.) 

I want - to think - my own - goddamned - thoughts

...

Something...cracks...and it's as though the bright-clear-line was an optical illusion all along, and she's only noticing it now. 

Bella jumps, a little, when Sayshen kicks, floats an inch off the ground in case she needs to shoot up into the sky, but no, this isn't directed at her.

Sayshen? Are you okay?

Sayshen's shields come up; Bella can't read her fully anymore.

:–What just happened?: 

The lightly applied fuzz evaporates in the aftermath, Bella sees, as she backs off. Uh, I think you... broke something, but I'm not sure if that's actually bad.

:I feel really strange: Sayshen looks around. :Like - nothing is real? No, that isn't it. That's real: She paces over and kicks the apple tree; a couple of apples fall down. :But there's...something...that felt real before? And not now: 

She steps back, and then kneels and sits in the grass. :Can you look and see what I broke?: Shields open for her again. 

I saw that on my way out, it was - This place, this now-empty place. The bright line about the Heraldic oath and allied topics?

:Huh: Sayshen looks up at her. :Bella, I think your hypothetical Companion and their hypothetical Herald have a pretty bad problem. Because, er, the gods are apparently not the best designers of magical beings and systems to run a country. And given that I'm thinking that, I suspect whatever I just did would work there as well. Though I'm not sure I could give an instruction manual for it: 

I could try to replicate it based on what I saw but I've never done it before and it might work less well exogenously imposed. Also I generally try not to do invasive stuff to people's minds without them agreeing to it.