some only had hearts that were brave and true

books-and-bodies

Karen Teller is having a really, really, really terrible month.

(In the privacy of her own brain, she is willing to admit that if ever there were a month that was downright shitty, this would be it.)

Her sister is dead. Not, like, gone to heaven dead, stuck on earth as a ghost dead. Her niece is still a werewolf, and is making progress on her apparent goal of scratching up every piece of furniture in the house. Also she got a D on a history test. Just straight-up got a D, on a history test, because she's been too dead all month to even listen during lectures. And she's too - proud, or scared, or something, to call in her parents for help, so she's just living in this house with a ghost and a tiny werewolf and an elementary schooler and hoping that nothing goes horribly horribly wrong before she graduates.

She has a job. It even pays enough to hire the nanny all day. Which is, you know, super. It starts at six and ends at nine, and is all the way across town, and she can't drive, so when she's lucky she gets home around ten, and she mostly doesn't take a stab at her homework because by that time she doesn't want to do anything at all. She does manage to take a shower, usually, because she's been handling dead bodies, because, oh yeah, she works at a cemetery, which is why it pays so well.

Also, she finds out today, there are zombies. Just, y'know, actual zombies, wandering around the catacombs under the mausoleum, which is probably why the caretaker gave her a mace, although honestly this is a thoroughly ridiculous way to handle this problem and you would THINK, if you knew that there were zombies infesting your catacombs, you would be able to seal them off and move your business somewhere safer, or at least come up with a solution that's less completely stupid than arming sixteen-year-olds with medieval weaponry and expecting them to fend for themselves.

This is mostly what she's thinking about when she takes out the zombie that's about to take a bite out of her coworker's shoulder. She has to assume that the actual contact is, like, instinct, or something. She hits it again, after, for good measure, and again, until its face is completely smashed in, because maybe she can't beat the crap out of this horrible, horrible month, but at least she can make sure this fricking literal walking corpse isn't going to make anything any worse.

"There. Dead zombie. Hopefully it stays that way this time."

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books-and-bodies

"We don't know. You don't - stop existing, the Grim Reaper takes you somewhere, apparently, but we have no idea what it's like."

not-like-i-care

"Kinda scary."

books-and-bodies

"Yeah. I mean, like, it's dying, people are in fact pretty scared of it."

not-like-i-care

"Fairies are too but it's not - inevitable, it happens if you fuck up instead of happening no matter what you do."

books-and-bodies

"Yeah. I think people mostly don't go around being scared of dying of old age, though, just because, like - it is inevitable. So being afraid of it won't really do you any good. I guess."

not-like-i-care

"Huh." Shiver.

books-and-bodies

Hug.

"I wonder if there's a way to become immortal with magic. It would kind of surprise me, just because it seems - like too much, somehow, but I don't really know what all magic can do."

not-like-i-care

"It doesn't seem more powerful than the fairy thing to me. The fairy thing's really powerful."

books-and-bodies

"The fairy thing is really powerful if you live with fairies. Which I mostly don't, other than you, present circumstances notwithstanding. But I guess that probably doesn't matter much in terms of what the book can do."

not-like-i-care

"Yeah. I know you probably won't use it to conquer the whole fairy world but you could."

books-and-bodies

"I guess. I feel like someone would probably figure out how to kill me if I tried, I don't think I'm smart enough to avoid that."

not-like-i-care

"Could start by grabbing Matt. But I don't think you should do that, it sounds horrible and I don't think you'd even like it. I just think the spellbook doesn't mind giving you stuff that powerful."

books-and-bodies

"Yeah, it does sound pretty horrible. But I guess it does - we don't know how high-powered it goes but it's possible the fairy debt thing isn't an anomaly."

not-like-i-care

"Yeah. Wow."

books-and-bodies

"Of course we don't actually know whether I can control what I get yet."

not-like-i-care

"Guess we should jump off some more trees."

books-and-bodies

"Yeah... after we leave little Connor a note, though."

not-like-i-care

"Sounds good."

The fairies can provide paper.

books-and-bodies

Then she can write little Connor a note explaining that they were abducted by fairies, and they're going to be fine but he should get someone on this list of chill people to drive him back to the hotel, here is the key, they will be back for sure in the morning. If something in this plan goes wrong he should get his grandparents rather than attempting to heroically sleep in the forest or something.

And then she can deliver her note and the key, and then they can jump off trees again.

Spell: Feather fall

When you fall, you'll always land on your feet at a safe speed.

To learn this spell, jump off something of a height where you can land safely. While falling, say 'besloor'.

books-and-bodies

She reads her spell to Connor.

"So hey, it's not flight, but this means we were right about the mechanism, right? Like, this is clearly a 'you keep jumping off of trees' sort of thing."

not-like-i-care

"Yeah. It might not know what you're hoping for? Just what you're doing?"

books-and-bodies

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense? So you have to do things that are, like, related to the thing you want to do, I guess. Which means it'll probably be harder to get things that are further away from anything you can currently do, but maybe you can get to them through more magic, or something?"

not-like-i-care

"That sounds probably right? Like, now that you have feather fall you can jump from even higher, or go skydiving once we're slow again, and then maybe it'll get the hint about flying."

books-and-bodies