"It wasn't intentional. They were all like 'Lev, you're a terrible demon, go to Earth and stop bothering us' and then I saw the Tree and one of the humans, the one with round things in front, said it would kill them immediately if they ate it and I was like 'no, that is super a lie' and then I thought about it and said 'honestly eating it would be good, then you would know lots of things.'" Crunch. "Maybe I'll get a commendation."

"Well. They've been cast out and are going to die now. Not - soon, hopefully, but at some point. So I suppose whatever you did must have been evil. Probably. Do they give you people commendations for being evil?"

"Yeah! They give you a special award."

"Wow. I haven't gotten any awards. 

"I really hope I didn't do anything wrong by giving them the sword..."

"Well, being nice to people is a good thing, right? And you were nice to them. So probably it's okay."

"I hope so. I don't know what I'd do if I did something wrong. It's not really the sort of thing one plans for. Of course it probably wouldn't affect the plan, right, that's the sort of thing you can't knock off course, so probably whatever does happen was whatever was supposed to happen, and it'll all turn out all right in the end, but - well it's it's awful to think about your part in it being something other than - well, than helping."

"Uh, well, my part in the plan is definitely not helping."

"Well, it sounds awful. But I suppose that's your job. Being awful."

"Yeah, I guess. --I didn't mean to, it's just that God doesn't like people who keep asking questions."

"Oh.

"I'm... sorry."

"And He made me, you know, if He didn't want me to ask questions He could have just made a different person."

He's done with the apple. He throws it over his shoulder into the garden.

"I suppose so." She glances at the discarded apple. "You know that can't have been good for you."

"I might learn something."

"Do you feel like you've learned anything? Anything you - didn't understand before that you understand now?"

"Not really. I thought it probably wouldn't work on demons."

"I suppose that makes sense."

"I guess I'll get to find out if I die now."

"I mean you were going to anyway, right? Die eternally in the fires of hell, and all that? I expect that counts."

"I feel like that doesn't count because I'm, like, sapient and in my original form the entire time."

"Well I don't know. Maybe it seems like a fairer description once you're there."

"I was there. I didn't feel very dead. If they were like 'Hell is a place where nobody likes you because you aren't a real demon' it would be more accurate."

"Then maybe it's symbolically like death, somehow. Or maybe it'll be different at the end of time."

"Or maybe God is lying. Again. Like He always does."

"God doesn't lie. He sometimes describes truths that are beyond our comprehension."

"He put dinosaur bones in the ground to make it look like the Earth is billions of years old, I'd call that lying."