"Thank you!"

He has miraculously disintegrated all the decorations and is now sitting upside down in a chair reading What To Expect The First Year.

"Learn anything interesting?"

"Human babies are so fragile."

"Well yeah. They're small and new and they don't know how to lift their little heads. - anything specific we need to look out for?"

"This book has a whole section about diseases but I'm concerned if I let you read it you will decide our baby has literally every one of them every time she vomits."

"Well if you hadn't said anything then I think I'd figure almost all babies survive these days, but now I think if I don't get a list of symptoms to look for then I might have to ask you whether she looks like she's about to die every time she breathes funny."

"All right, you can read it. --Apparently seizures from fever are very normal and don't mean that anything's wrong."

"Wow. That's - really concerning, absent that information, but I'll try to keep it in mind."

"Also there are a ton of safety rules. But I'm not sure if we can just ignore them because she's the Antichrist."

"Is the antichrist immune to dying as a baby? Or - dying generally?"

"Well, she's a reality warper like us. We can die-- well, inconveniently discorporate-- but we're not going to die of falling down the stairs or getting hit by a car."

"True. But we're also not babies."

"We should probably be at all careful, but I think her powers will keep her safe, even as a baby."

"OK. Sounds good. We can be a normal reasonable we-have-a-baby amount of careful and not a better-lock-this-child-in-an-impenetrable-extremely-safe-playpen-until-she-turns-five-because-the-fate-of-the-world-depends-on-her amount of careful."

"I think being locked in an extremely safe playpen is bad for child development anyway."

"I didn't say it was a good idea. Maybe if it was a really big playpen."

"With lots of age-appropriate toys."

"Yeah. But probably she'll still want to leave it before she turns five.

"How much more time do we have?"

"Not sure. I'm going to get summoned at some point in the next couple weeks but Hell is not super respectful of other people's ability to plan."

"Oh. I suppose not. - Babies aren't either, I don't think. Like, they might not actually be precisely sure when the birth happens."

"If we were humans we would be having a 'nesting instinct' now. Like you'd have a sudden urge to clean the entire house and freeze large amounts of food."

"Honestly might be a good idea to freeze some of these leftovers? But I think the house is probably as clean as it gets."

"We don't eat. Except recreationally."

"Which leads to a level of consumption that might not get everything eaten unless some of these cakes get frozen. Maybe I should put them out instead of cookies for a while."

"I mean, we're also not limited to human caloric requirements," Lev says, eyeing one of Kairiel's cakes.