What a good plan. Kaleva is so good at dates.

Kaleva is excellent at dates. 

Mardi Gras is big and loud and colorful and Sasha loves it. 

Kaleva takes him to brunch and kisses him and watches the parade with him and kisses him and walks with him holding hands in the park and kisses him. 

They go out to brunch and the server calls him ma'am and doesn't question the way they look at each other, the way they touch each other — they watch the parade and it's big and bright and colorful and beautiful and nobody looks at them twice when they make out there in the street — they walk in the park and nobody minds, nobody cares — 

In the park, a black man appears; his entire face is covered with a mask, and he's wearing a gold necklace instead of a shirt.

He bows and offers a rose to Sasha. "A flower for a beautiful lady?"

Sasha takes the flower. "Thank you, kind sir," he says, and doesn't try to curtsey, only mostly because he is not actually sure what a curtsey is supposed to look like. 

"I believe," the man says, "the traditional next interaction is that I throw some beads at you and you pull down your dress and optionally yell 'Woooooooooo!'"

Kaleva is nearly doubled over from laughing.

"Was that a request?" 

"If you like."

Kaleva attempts to telepathically remind Sasha that he does not actually have breasts.

He doesn't need to be reminded; he is aware. 

Instead of flashing the breasts he doesn't have he takes the man's shoulder and kisses him. 

His girlfriend boyfriend person is so hot. 

Well, that was easy. 

The man kisses thoughtfully and carefully and with great attention; he tastes a little bit of rum. 

He does not actually recognize the taste of rum, but it's a good taste. He's a fan. 

"Guess I should leave you with your boyfriend, pretty girl."

"I'm not so sure," he says, and then, "Boyfriend mine, what do you think?" 

"It's Mardi Gras, my beautiful girlfriend, I think you can do as you like."

And I will be super super anxious about him murdering you for having a dick but I don't actually think I need to remind you to be paranoid, he doesn't add.

"Then I think you should kiss me again," he tells the man. 

"Well, then," he says, "I say I should buy you a drink and get to know you better."

Kaleva's still smiling. "I have a book."

"That sounds lovely, then." 

Kaleva hugs him and kisses his cheek and whispers in his ear, "stay safe."

He hugs Kaleva and kisses his cheek and whispers "I will, I promise," and then lets go and smiles at Asher. 

"Have you been enjoying your Fat Tuesday so far, pretty girl?"