"...I mean, better at tying me up, yeah, but I don't think it'd be that easy to find someone who's cuddly and who likes the ways I'm weird and likes explaining things to me and doesn't freak out about the Isle thing and is interested in lots of things and, and, and." 

"And I know we can't-- love each other-- but if I were really important to you you wouldn't. Want to? I think."

".....what." 

He's shrinking in on himself. "Sorry, I know it's stupid, I shouldn't--"

"I don't think it's stupid I'm just really confused." 

"I dunno I probably should have guessed that sodomites don't work that way but--"

"— Kaleva, I'm from the Isle. Of course Auradonians do relationships differently than I do them. Tell me what you're talking about." 

"Uh. Well. When people are in love with each other they aren't interested in other people? And if they are interested in other people it probably means they weren't really in love in the first place? And I knew that of course you couldn't be, so I should have expected--"

".....that is terrifying on so many levels I don't know where to start but having Nico didn't make me care about Nat any less." 

"Why is it terrifying?"

"Everything to do with love is terrifying. Only having one person ever for the rest of forever is terrifying in a totally different way. Having caring about someone hack my brain so I can't also care about or have sex with anyone else is super mega double extra terrifying. Take your pick." 

"I mean I wouldn't know, I am pretty sure I've wanted to have sex with... maybe three people ever."

He hugs Kaleva. 

"...I don't think I can do 'nobody but you ever again.' And it isn't because I don't like you or I don't care about you or I don't want to talk to you, I just — can't." 

"It's okay. It's just-- when I was a kid I was like 'I'm really sad and lonely now but it's going to be okay, I'm going to meet my one true love and we can get married and we're going to have so many babies and they'll care about all the stupid things I care about and we can cuddle and watch movies and have stupid injokes and I won't ever be lonely again.' And then I-- couldn't have kids, but I was like 'at least I can meet my one true love and maybe they won't even like kids and it'll be good for them and it can be something I'm sacrificing for them to make them happy and that'll be okay.' And then I turned out to not even like girls and-- and now I can't have any of that at all and. I'm just not used to it."

He puts a hand on Kaleva's hair. 

"We can still cuddle and watch movies and have stupid in-jokes and care about things." 

"It's dumb. I knew you weren't my one true love anyway."

He doesn't flinch. He doesn't pull away. 

He pets Sasha's hair. "You're so good and you make me so happy and I'm really grateful about any time you want to spend with me."

He does his best to relax. The hair petting helps. 

"I'm glad I can make you happy," he says. 

"Yeah. I'm sorry I freaked out."

Sasha pulls him closer. Doesn't answer. 

"I might drop out of school."

"You like school, though." 

"But it's around Chen." And far from you.

"...maybe you could transfer to a different school that isn't around Chen?"